v.free

looking back at all the smiles and laughter and random stupid things you once did as a kid you really do appreciate your parents for giving you a childhood. the freedom to go off and have fun with your cousins, get your face painted and bury your siblings at the beach are one of the rare moments where you are really living life to the fullest. i hope one day my kids will be able to experience it :)

perth may be a hole, but it's still home :)

by the way, although i may not know you that well, i don't think you should stay. there's a whole world out there! sure you'll miss home but imagine the opportunities you could make for yourself...

v.chemistry

it's pretty cool how attraction and chemistry works...pretty interesting stuff
unfortunately it can backfire and be your worse nightmare where because of the way things are there is no way in hell anything is going to happen...but for you :) nothing is there to blemish your perfect chance! cannot wait to see the results :):) the timing couldn't be more perfect :) it's up to you with what you want to do i guess you aren't going to deny it aye :) horny =x

so 2010 event calendar finally ended! now theres nothing really left to do...things have been planned but i guess it is just time for some research or maybe a break is really in order. jackie says i'm so sad =[ cos now i really don't even have a life!

thank you so much joshy for picking me up and sending me home! love you! xx

so like right now...you really are starting to piss me off. my patience has a very low tolerance at the moment so i wouldn't try anything.

what do you want for your birthday?

v.move

my sisters seem to be moving into my room -.-
they seem to be sleeping over more and more these few days =[
my dads like why don't you all move in the same room together!

freaking ... is pissing me off =@ so freaking stupid. mixing her words, complaining about the change, trying to hold on to what has already been passed on =@
you've already had your turn and right now you aren't really doing anything for the benefit of the club. you are freaking trying to do it for yourself, your career and reputation. go and die in a hole stupid pos.

i need more shows to watch :( vampire diaries doesn't continue till dec and even then it's only got two episodes left :( hrmm i need something to keep me occupied =\ CS stuff only goes so far =\

v.brave

after all that has happened you blame no one, you just sit through the pain with a smile on your face :)  i don't know how you are so brave and grown up at your age...it's pretty damn amazing !
you make me smile because you're so strong whilst making me sad watching you endure what has happened to you. for your sake and theirs, i really hope that there are no scars to burden you, i don't know how she would be able to handle seeing your face everyday with a scar reminding her everyday of what happened as well as them.
my dear little bubble be as happy as you can be and live your precious life to the fullest :) holding your small little hand everyday makes my day just that much better =]

i love you!



and as for you, i'm glad you came out fine with no complications and hopefully are sleeping well :) let's hope nothing else comes back to surprise us :)

v.decisions

some rules are broken "just for fun"...like hrmm sneaking out of your house to go metros on saturday nights.
but some rules are just not meant to be trifled with at all. some things are just meant to be respected and left alone and if you actually break the rule that isn't meant to be broken, you lose a whole lot of respect and gain a whole lot of disgust and disappointment in you and your decision. but i guess as most say things happen for a reason.

--

so lately i've become a tv-addict. i guess my boredom has really surfaced and i just watch charmed and pokemon all day which i guess i don't mind. pokemon is really fun to watch :) pikachu is SOOOO CUTE! totally want one! oh and vulpix :) magikarp is the worst piece of crap ever freaking fish. ugh so fucking annoying to watch it  =@ magi karp karp karp karp...
charmed is getting boring-ish...it was only good when cole was around :) bad boys are sooo hot =$
leo is a fatty now and darryl is a fatty too. no goodalooking guys :( nick lachey is right now phoebes love interest =) =) AND WYATT AND CHRIS ARE WAYY TOO CUTE! *sigh  makes me smile :):)

well anyways time for sleepies. early early morning wake up tmr :) hope things go well for both of you =) i hope you heal with no scars to haunt you in the future and i hope it isn't a serious case and you'll be up and running in no time with no future hassles

v.last

so tmr will be my last exam which i will totally flunk. i don't even think super duper stoopid alan kan will be able to help me :( mechanical dynamics you make me so so so sad :(
zac and jeremiah wna drink tmrs =\ since we don't like beer zac and i are going to drink water and zac feels a tad naughty so he wants some lemon too :) sparkling water is soo gross ! bottled - still water ftw !!
zac says he assumed i liked sparkling cos i'm all posh and what not drinking tea with my pinky up in the air
and thuy today was like i thought you had a boyfriend! i was like no i'm single =) and she's like you look like those people with boyfriends -.- *sigh
and she said i looked gangster :( :( :( :(

after tmr...exams will be the least of my problems....there's so much to do and deal with =\ i gotta deal with dynasty stuff and 2011 stuff and family stuff and friend stuff sighs.
ooo on a happy note dear thuy has helped me finish off selling my tickets =] she's way too pro. my $15 batch one is officially sold out and my other $20 ones yay! thank you thuy <3
thank you stupid alan kan for helping me in cfp and mech =) epic love! cannot wait till next year =$ i'm considering deferring my finance units for you =$
end of second year is tomorrow kinda scary thinking about being a third year =o tricia's going to be a fresher as well =\ wonder what will happen...mother says she'll end up not seeing both us at all next year haah guess we'll see =) april two thousand and eleven marks the cutting down of metros hopefully =]
i shall try and not procrastinate any longer...mechanical dynamics you are going to make me cry tomorrow!

v.stoopid

things can only get better. you've gotten past this  point before and i'm sure you can pass it once again. for now, all you can do is cry it all out and get it out of your system where you have no more tears to shed and you become tired of wasting your sadness tears and everything on him. the rest of us can only be a shoulder for you to cry on. no matter what we say it won't make the hurt go away, no matter what we do that person will still be on the back of your mind. so all that is needed is either a rebound =x for distraction or to live with it till time heals the wound. you've had a slip up and even though you thought you could handle it you couldn't. saying i told you so isn't really going to change anything so hopefully this is just another mistake you learn from. i know his attention and presence makes you happy but that happiness won't last and i think you know that now. you have said you're stupid which i do believe you are at times but when it comes to your heart and your love nothing can stop you.

just breathe. it'll hurt. but you can only get stronger from this.

v.prepare

so today i went to church for the first time in ages...kind of '...' how they were coincidentally talking about death...
pretty much the Priest was talking about how prepared we would be when death comes our way...
even if you always prepare for every exam, every work meeting, every single thing in your day, how prepared will you be when it's your final few minutes? things happen unexpectedly and for most situations you should just really be thankful that for you it wasn't so severe as it could be.
so how do we prepare ourselves for death?  for those with money and assets are you supposed to keep your will in check every week? for those with close family and friends are you supposed to ring them up every day to tell them 'I love you'?

i hope death goes away at this point. far far away...
i doubt it will be that serious and you'll come out fine. i guess this is just really going to be an eye-opener to the life you live at the moment. right now you're running back to your faith for support i guess it's just a peace of mind kind of thing something to give you hope to look out for those you love and yourself. even today's event shows you that you can't take things for granted. every action and move you make you must make with caution and 'use your brains', be aware of your surroundings and be aware of the risks. after this experience you'll change the way you live especially your outlook on life.i think you're going to be at home more often and more strict keeping those you love by your side just so you know that they aren't some place where something bad could happen to them.  after these few events i kind of wonder how i'm going to act from now on...i guess i'm going to be the same...cos what is the point in changing? but i think i'm going to be more cautious and possibly hermit this coming holidays. the outside world is dangerous =x as mother says...just stay at home!

this will definitely scar you and possibly give you a phobia. i don't know why this happened to you but i know you'll be fine. just be as strong as we know you are. today you really showed the grown up side of you even though you are still a kid, it's crazy to think you are still only so young and have matured so fast. i know it can be lonely at times for you but in the end you still are our baby. the pain in their faces today stunned me... to see your child in such pain and to see your child's body in such a state is the most heart breaking thing a parent and sibling could go through. just stay safe and a whitelighter will heal you in no time :)

state of the gorgon's castle :(

everything will get better in the end, i do believe that. this is just a bump in the road

v. twenty six poses

so...recently i've started bikrum yoga!

the first time almost died. i gave up half way and waited for the floor poses with jess. teressa was sooooo good! she got through the whole thing!
the second time wasn't too bad :) much better! time flew by pretty fast and i got through the WHOLE thing ! YAY! jess went twice that day and brought jackie. haha jackie hated it soooo much =\ so i think she's going to stick to shemoves ;)
and the third time was going to be at eight am but it was full :( so instead we went breakkies :)
but yeah going to go at four pm today with my mother and sister :) i think mother and sister are going to die.

bikrum is actually pretty fun. the amount you sweat is so ewww but it's worth it !
should have a bikurm yoga date with everyone :$

on other notes...

miniature pug x beagle 

i have one more exam left on tuesday then i am done! but i think i might flunk this one :( dynamics isn't exactly the easiest subject >.< and i don't have stupid alan kan nearby =[
after exams, it is allllllll dynasty and paper work for 2011.
from the video that cat posted, dj moto sounds pretty good =) kinda exciting!

and...i don't think i'm going overseas anymore to USA/Europe. at this stage, the trip has pretty much been cancelled. so much money lost :( but oh wells as long as he gets better that's all that matters right? :) so christmas in perth ! orrr...might go singapore for a bit! i want to dye my hair!!!!!!!
i'm supposed to be starting to go church every weekend from now on . . . i haven't been in sooo long =\
anddd... yay might be getting a dog or two :):) i want a miniture pugg hehe they're sooo cute! but papa wants a retriever =\ they're so big =[



and lastly...


happy birthday jono !

v.restart

it's a new month. all good things come to an end and even if you love him, you know and i know you deserve better. you have been going around in circles for a while now and sooner or later you have to make the best decision for yourself. he's not going to realise and he's not going to change. he has his priorities set and it's apparent you high on that list. there is no point in putting yourself through this over and over again!
everyone else can see who is and who isn't a priority to him, you may be important, but not as important as another. it's hard for friends to see you go through this time and time again as we can only really stand by and watch because the decision is yours. we're always here keeping an eye out for you ready to catch you when you fall any time any day :)


---


EXAMS ARE A POS
I HATE UNI
i'd like to say i'll change next semester but really my focus on uni work will die even more
major sigh.

v.truce

i just finished watching easy j episode six of gossip girl !
chuck and blair called a truce but didn't get back together :(
i hope they do! the show is really only interesting because of those two :)

i wonder who would be seen as the equivalent to chuck and blair

wonder who i would call a truce with as well =\ hmm..

v.average

i believe it's only going to get worse.
you are going to be on my mind even more so than before.
my life will revolve around you.
i think i could possibly get oneitis with you :(
my judgement will be clouded.
my jealousy will get out of hand.
my thoughts will be all over the place
will i be able to handle failure? unlikely.
so what happens if i fail with you :(

v.structure

i'm pretty happy with the exec team for next year :)
but first structure has to be established!
hopefully that will be done tomorrow !
january 2011 is going to be major busy :x
how exciting =)

O-Day's 2011

24th FEB - CURTIN

25th FEB - UWA

things are all fun and games, until someone gets hurt

v.mistake

no matter how hard we try, we're not always going to get it right.

we feel certain things for certain reasons

some things that we have to overcome some way or another,

it's okay to be in the wrong once in a while,

as long as you realise what you've done

and you do something about it to make it right, 

it's going to be a-okay! :)

no matter what you do, 

you know who is still going to be around

to chat to, to cry to, to whinge to :)

you'll be fine, it's only a phase my dear

just learn from your mistakes 

don't be sad, the pain will fade

things will get better as time goes on

if you want it, stay away from those who are going to trigger your urges =x




you're an idiot. you should know your influence.
don't take advantage of it. leave them be.
they've healed or are in the process of healing
you have someone, who you obviously don't give a shit about.
ass

v.window

nothing you can do but watch
it hurts that you can only be so helpless
only being able to stare from the outside,
you have no control but to just think of what-ifs

i'm left speechless, clueless, confused as to what i'm doing is wrong. what am i supposed to do? 

how do you think it makes me feel? regardless, i still care.

--
i don't like how you are trying to control me
my lips are really dry :( i think its cos i've been overdosing with the soy sauce when i eat my sushi and stuff :(
well last night was a saturday, helen came over and we were going to have moscato and cheese and crackers with bring it on movies!
but what happened? these silly two teens got influenced into going to nonetheless but metro city! george came out! he was soooooo drunk! haha heard he yacked =\ hopefully he's okay!
we wanted to go home early :( but we stayed
jackie's car broke down and bran hit jackie's car with sago's?
orange was so drunk he even died in gross dirty metro city toilets to sleep =.=
and of course, the highlight of the night...no comment.
today was unproductive

mother's back tomorrow. brother's back tomorrow =)
going to bring mother to POPPOS! must remember to bring msu card

omg rugby is such a rough sport! derek is never playing it >=(
will go smash the boys that break him >=(
mmm..thats all from me for now

v.different

we're different because we are meant to be,
the way we act and respond isn't on purpose
it is only natural for us
we're cool like that :)
and no one can take that away from us
we may seem to have the world,
but for some things you've probably had it better than us,
because we are us, we've probably missed out on a lot,
however we have gained in other aspects
hard yet easy, you wonder what lies ahead....


it's crazy how instantly you can change your mind
once someone else from the outside tells you their opinion
it's great isn't it? to have people from different groups as your friends :)
it opens your eyes, your mind and heart
and clears the fog when your vision gets blurred

--
i'm getting sick :(
i'm going to eat poppos tomorrow with my sisters :)

v.karaoke

just got home from karaoke!
what a long day :(
i woke up early and made breakfast for bridget :) well recess =x

karaoke compared to last year was a hit!
however, there were too many contestants in the first round!
the winner of the competition was Gabriel Chan!
Jackie liked him muchly!
jess kissed me =x
jackie kissed jess's boob
sago lay

19 => top 5 + 2 => top 3

i was running around like a maniac :( and i told so many people off :(
such a bitch :( some people are going to think i'm some crazy control freak and run off :(
people are going to stab me cos some of them were viet :(

2140 is due tmr.
thank god for ernst <3

i got my presents today :)
a jar of hearts from sago
and shoes from meng
does meng know what asians say when it comes to shoes as presents :O
i'm sure jackie will enlighten him bahahaha

i'm so tired!
i think my sisters ate my roast vegetables which i specifically ta pau-ed from the biz school cafe to bring home and eat later :(
it's cold :( it's spose to be really nice weather :(
i'm sick :( *sigh

time to finish off 2140 and go sleep!
xo

start!

from tomorrow,

no junk food
chocolates
sweets
fast food - i.e. maccas, hjs, kfc

if i get hungry, going to drink water!

try and have 3 proper meals :)
roast vegetable foccacia ftw !!
edens :)

fresh and healthy :):)

change is great :)
when you know it's for the best :)

v.cut down

on eating so much :(
i'm going to grow sideways :(

on being so slack
exams are just around the corner and barely know anything!
gotta start focusing and figuring out a study plan

on sleeping so much
my body clock is so stupid
i sleep soooo much that i'm so tired all the time and can sleep anytime
even if i sleep early, like 9/10/11pm i still snooze for like 2 hours :(
bad bad bad

on being so unhealthy
i gotta start exercising! and drinking more water and less alcohol, my skin is dying =[

so much to change :(
easier said than done, one step at a time i guess...

v.focus

i need to find a goal,
to find motivation,
that will make me focus
on something other than what is going on now