fantasy

only you can make it hard for me

to differentiate between fantasy and reality.

only you can make my life

a heaven and a hell

in my heart, it doesn't really matter where I am,

as long as we're together

but in my head, it really shouldn't be

and what we have shouldn't exist.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

this is a place where hope is but dreams,

dreams is but illusions,

illusions are caused by drugs,

and yu, are merely my fantasy..

dislike

the more you overcompensate with the things you do

the less you are liked in general.

why? because it's not really who you are.

and really, it's just plain annoying,

to see, to hear and to be around

no one needs to try so hard to be liked,

and no one needs to try so hard to receive attention.

change before you get left behind.

i dislike you at the moment.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

i don't hate.
i dislike.
i dislike your ways
i dislike your style
i dislike your thinking
i dislike your ego
i dislike you.


close to the point where you make me almost angry.
but again,
i don't hate.
and i try to avoid anger.


please don't make me explode.
it won't be pretty.
trust me.

forget

did you forget?

did you ever regret?

well baby, it's not just you.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

do i forget things?

yes.

do i usually forget things?

no.

do i forget important things?

sometimes.

were yu important?

yes.

have i tried to forget yu?

yes.

will i ever forget yu?

probly not.

truth

the truth hurts sometimes,

truth be told i miss you

and truth be told i'm lying ;)

~~~~~xo~~~~~

there is only ever one truth.

no more.

and definitely no less.

so, are yu ready to tell the truth?

new

new month. new game. new rules.

new relationships. new friends. new interests ;)

new knowledge. new ideas. new thoughts.

so many new things to look forward to and play with :)

~~~~~xo~~~~~

"oh look! shinyyyyy"

ur new in my life,

but yu've taken up so much of it alr.

please stay.

=)

guilt

when you hurt

when you deceive

when you cheat

when you ignore

when you dog

when you use

when you don't do enough

when you spend

when you rage

when you reject

sometimes the feeling just never goes away

whether it was unintentional or not.

the existence of a conscience can not be determined based on gender.

everyone has a conscience to some degree. we're only human:)

even if you live in your own province in lala land.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

i dont know if i should be guilty for feeling this way

i dont know if i should feel this way at all.

i know i like this feeling

but is it right?

how abt this feeling of guilt?

this doesnt feel quite right

but then again,

nothing really ever does..

i will never know..

bitch

being a bitch isn't hard.

it's rather easy in fact...well for us =\

being pessimistic. realistic. bitchy.

can these words relate?

reality usually is a bitch.

so you might as well prepare yourself for the worst.

i'd rather be a bitch than get hurt =x

karma doesn't always work out.

what goes around doesn't always come around.

nice girls get screwed over far more than they deserve.

nice guys finish last? why is that?

they're nice, they treat you well, so why don't they ever get picked?

for someone who is your miracle, you can be their curse.

is it really that wrong to be a bitch?

Definitions for bitch

Urban Dictionary

A woman that doesn't give a flying f*ck anymore and that can and will be cruel to men

Wikipedia (context of modern feminism)

strong female (anti-stereotype of weak submissive woman), cunning (equal to males in mental guile)

~~~~~xo~~~~~

bitch.

that's what you are.

and that's why i dislike you.

bitch.

that's what i can be.

and that's why you have a reason to dislike me.

sometimes, the inner bitch just lets loose.

and some people just need to know how to control that better.

=)

V.heartbeat

a combination of ups and downs
you want a regular heart beat
not flat line nor an accelerated heart rate(a.k.a Tachycardia)

"but heartbeats always fails in the end

it will converge to a straight line"

- orange.

it depends on how strong the heart is. and how healthy that heart is :)

and as to the straight flat line in the end.

isn't that the result from either dying or the actual break up?

flames to dust

lovers to friends

why do all good things come to an end?

*credits to orange for our convo:)

i heard washed rims are a great inspiration for a blog post ;)

--

exams are coming >.<

5 more days

stupid brother hurt his ankle = no sleep ins for the week =[

which is good i guess. wake up early and study and try focus.

break is going to be great fun! july should be a good month:):)

yay to jetties :) yay to hk :)

need to buy more dresses and i want to get more heels!

retail therapy, wonder how good shopping will be there :):)

drink up with joshua jeremiah:) i won't dog you!

1:1 bring it ;)

unless! u want to do 1.5 and i do 1 :)

there seems to be a chance for one of sl10 :)

change. sound interesting ;) all the best ! xo

stability II

we think we want it.we think we need it.

stability is something we wish for,

if your life gets to a point where there is too much to handle

where there is too much to face and deal with

the peace and calm is what you want

but once the calm comes, you'll get bored in no time.

calm is boring. without some drama, our lives wouldn't be very interesting.

just because your life is stable, it doesn't necessarily mean you're happy.

just because you're happy, it doesn't mean your life has become stable

happiness doesn't come with stability

because your happiness is a high, and you can only drop from that high

V.weak

"if he's weak, he's gone"

- Alan Kan

Being whipped, does it mean you're weak?

When a relationship falls apart and you get dumped, are you the weakest link?

Would you rather be the dumper or the dumpee? the whipper or the whipped?

To show your weakness first,

to give in and/or give up before the other

What does that really show? What does that really mean?

Are you the one that's more in like/love?

Are you the weakest or the strongest link?

maybe, weak isn't the right word to describe this =\