stupid

it's stupid to think how you affect me,

even though nothing happened, nothing came out of it,

when it concerns you, i just seem to care for no reason at all.

we barely even talk and are barely even friends,

we were but we're not now just mere acquaintances.

yet still, your name is heard constantly,

and what happens in your life, 

can change my mood instantly.

how stupidly does my brain work and think.

what affects me, shouldn't.

it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

i want to change and adjust,

i want to let go of things easily

but, it never seems to happen.

maybe it is because nothing came out of it,

would that be the reason why it's still lodged in my brain?

i don't understand why i am like this,

it seems so easy for others to let go and move on,

sadly, that doesn't seem to work for me.

i try to leave but my brain just keeps these stupid thoughts,

never ceasing to forget, never seeming to be free

leap

courage, to handle the consequences
faith, that you will figure it out no matter the outcome
hope, that it happened for a reason
knowledge, that you are never alone
do you have what it takes to leap?

him.

his name is daniel phan.

also known as sago.

and we love him :)

we miss him dearly too!

v.focus

i need to find a goal,
to find motivation,
that will make me focus
on something other than what is going on now

v.tired

tired of being asked the same question,

because i don't know the answer.

my eyes are sore

you have what you need

now just know what you want

accomplish

in my life, i've always listened to my parents.
been obedient when it came to decisions,
sure they've let me do a couple of things by choice,
but really, i don't think i know any other way,
i think i don't know what i want,
because i've always known what i wanted because it was my parent's wants
so now i'm lost.
i haven't accomplished anything.
and it makes me sad. and i don't think anyone can make me better.

alcohol is bad for the skin

end of story.
detox soon (hopefully)

v.fragile

i think i'm in a fragile state of mind at the moment,

anything you say or do may effect me more so now than it ever would have before,

it's a period that i will have to get over sooner or later,

what is said, what is done, you may not realise but it does effect me,

it's not something i'm going to make a big deal of as i'll deal with it as always

msu ball 2010

table 23 + gan and shaw :)

very nicely done :)
had a table full of boys. how like me :x
drank at ernst's before hand and at the ball
i paced myself pretty well
got drunk =\
i think i embarrassed myself in front of some people :(
how depressing :(
popped my emo-drunk cherry
sorry sago :( and annie :(
what a pain i must be :(

it was really fun tho,
jono is a slut :x
but I stopped it and got told off by the other boys for interfering :(

next year should be even better :)
msu dance was really good! way better than asia's i must say. hehe annie danced really well =$
claps to msu :) yay!
msu gonna pwn asia 2011 ;)

v.broken

you can still see the cracks,

the lines telling you where it hurts, 

and even if you try your best,
to let it heal over time,

it will never be the way it was
the scars are still there