sleep

the best way to escape

v.hearsay

if you want to know things, just ask the person. if you are meant to know, then you are.
if you aren't then so be it. i'm sure you will find out sooner or later.
do i look like someone that will cave first? especially when it comes to emotions?
people don't get called ice queen for nothing. people aren't told they don't have a heart for no reason.
emotions are a sign of weakness. if you know me, you know the way i am. if you don't, there is nothing i can do.


if i like you, you wouldn't ever get it out from me until you said i like you first. 








you cause so much trouble for me. it's not even funny anymore.
if i have to stay away from you to keep things a bit more stable and normal. i will.

v.nineteen

Birthday Week :)


7th
7.30am - breakfast with angel :) got my lovely birthday present of us from high school and fresher year! yay explorus =x
11.30am  - dimsum with sago and meng then + annie angel and jackie. sago, meng and i ate quite a bit eh =\
4.00pm - tav :) thank you for coming :) jackie brought cake and tarts :$ helen brought cupcakes and a pressie ! epic love to those two :)
6.00pm - spring feast
8.30pm - chocolate pizza @ the basement! thank you orange :)
10.00pm - home sweet home


so it was my birthday the other day

first time i woke up so early in ages D:
but it was worth it :)
thank you to everyone that came :)
i really wonder what happens in your last teenage year aye =\
high school is over. being a teen is over. the twenties are just around the corner. scary much?

went out last night :) had such fun with helen and jackie :) jen fails when it comes to alcohol! she succumbs to it so easily haha!i was soooo hungry :) thank god for billy lees! but it would have been wayyy better if andy and i got our bacon deluxes!

V.Eighteen

Its my last few hours as an eighteen year old. Looking back I have had such a great year. I've met so many people and made so many new friends :) helen, josh, wfc etc. :)

it was this wednesday last year I turned eighteen! And it was pretty memorable! Pretty much the first time I met most of the WFC boys who have now become my very good friends :) we went to the tav! I remember bran getting wasted and yackking on james oval as we watched ASIA train for rugby! then we went to annie's for dinner :)

uni life was new, miss high school life still ! the girls are still around :) so things are pretty much the same. just with more people. more freedom ish. i think though, that things with parents have gotten worse =\
i've gotten heaps rebel :( who sneaks out on saturday nights :x

there have been a lot of ups and downs but it has been a good year :)

nineteen is coming up! my last teen year, i wonder what it will bring...

v.realise

lying in bed, thinking about it for an hour,

wondering why i get affected so easily now

i think what i need is closure.

i realise i have too many what ifs floating in my head,

and i get lost and lose myself in these thoughts

they probably will never become a reality

which makes me pretty sad,

the possibilities make me think so much

that i can't handle it anymore.

it hurts too much to think what if,

that because of the way i am,

things never will ever turn out right

and because i can't change myself

all that is left will be emptiness and loneliness

stupid

it's stupid to think how you affect me,

even though nothing happened, nothing came out of it,

when it concerns you, i just seem to care for no reason at all.

we barely even talk and are barely even friends,

we were but we're not now just mere acquaintances.

yet still, your name is heard constantly,

and what happens in your life, 

can change my mood instantly.

how stupidly does my brain work and think.

what affects me, shouldn't.

it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

i want to change and adjust,

i want to let go of things easily

but, it never seems to happen.

maybe it is because nothing came out of it,

would that be the reason why it's still lodged in my brain?

i don't understand why i am like this,

it seems so easy for others to let go and move on,

sadly, that doesn't seem to work for me.

i try to leave but my brain just keeps these stupid thoughts,

never ceasing to forget, never seeming to be free

leap

courage, to handle the consequences
faith, that you will figure it out no matter the outcome
hope, that it happened for a reason
knowledge, that you are never alone
do you have what it takes to leap?

him.

his name is daniel phan.

also known as sago.

and we love him :)

we miss him dearly too!

v.focus

i need to find a goal,
to find motivation,
that will make me focus
on something other than what is going on now

v.tired

tired of being asked the same question,

because i don't know the answer.

my eyes are sore

you have what you need

now just know what you want