distance

i should leave some distance in between us.
we were never really meant to be,
you always find a way to hurt me somehow.
and whether you do it on purpose, you don't notice it,
or just that you simply don't care,
i don't know.
let's give each other some space. some time.
pretty sure i can live without you.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

it will have to be kept if things aren't going to be sorted out,
if something were to come from this, would we have regretted not keeping it
and just playing ignorance is bliss?
they say "distance only makes the heart grow fonder"
who knows anymore . . .

lost

lost as to what to do

lost as to what you want

lost as to what is the right thing

lost as to whether to take a chance

lost as to whether to bother

lost as to what i want

lost as to what is going to happen now

being lost sucks.

o.arrive

so the day has finally arrived. i have no idea what to do.
i don't know what's going to happen
i don't know what choices will be made

i want you to make up your mind on what you want and how much you want it.
don't lie to yourself and others. because others can see and read you like a book.
if you want something go for it. you may end up with what you want.
what you want to believe and make yourself think is different from what you really do know and feel.

remember to consider people and their feelings, they're human, they aren't stupid, they're not some trophy you win to put on the shelf. to clear things up. i guess that IS what is needed but how i'm still unsure.

i could hurt you. i know i can. and i don't want to. i don't want to hurt you or to make you sad.
that is what i'm scared of :( i think that is probably the thing holding me back most.

am i supposed to just be bold and ask? or, am i supposed to just leave it and let you think what you do?
some people don't think it'd work. some people do. so what am i supposed to do?
*sigh :(

DECISIONS

"It sucks when you make bad decisions, but it's better than not making one at all"
- NJ

agreed. although it's scary to make a decision if you don'y know what you want :$ but maybe by making these bad decisions you'll find the answer to that question.

O.and we are back

:) we've finally returned from Yunderup! it was such a pretty house! but we brokes the wall :(
died two nights
sober one night
yacked one night

monday 
cause of death: 1 on 1 with George Tran
* yacked
* hurt my foot
* recovered
* midnight munchies - bacon egg mee goreng
tuesday
cause of death: N/A
* sober :)
* became a bunny
* leong and george died :)
* leong is a funny drunk and a great singer - yay for karaoke
* jackie died big time =\
* josh kaboomed
* oceans 11&kickass
* slept at 6am
wednesday
cause of death: shots
* died then recovered :)
* wall got smashed
* wardrobe door broken
* whole day watching heavy rain

to be continued ....

o.sense

when will it all make sense.

i really don't know what i want

too many thoughts that run through my mind

too many factors to consider

when will it quieten

what i have in mind, what i want, what i believe i need, what i think i deserve, what i think i don't, what i live for, who i live for

phobia

• mee goreng.
• eggs.
• bacon.
• alcohol.

roadtrip has caused a lot of things >.<

~~~~~xo~~~~~

heights are not my favourite thing on this planet,
i don't especially like fast moving things either.
but the 2 together is beautiful..
Rollercoasters <3

heavy

passing out too often isn't very good,
because if you're heaps heavy (like me :$)
it's going to be really hard for people
to move you to a more comfy place
apologies. :)
heavy rain is an epic game !

~~~~~xo~~~~~

heavily drugged up.
habits need to change before uni starts.
ahh gg me.

recover

it's hard to recover what has been lost,

even though you may want it that badly,

it'll only return (if it does) in pieces.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

i think i might be recovering from my crisis.
it's actually nothing after all.
provided it doesn't happen again.

begin

what is to come...

what's left unspoken will never be heard,

what has been said will only ever be overlooked

~~~~~xo~~~~~

and thus my misfortunes begin.
why can't time be erased?
sigh..