v.day eleven

i wonder what you would say, watching him be the way he is. he misses you so much...i don't think there is a day where you don't come to mind. every time he looks in the mirror, in his reflection, all he sees...is...you.
it hurts him every time he is reminded of you, i guess that when someone is gone, you regret not cherishing them more. it's scary to think about the similarities, even i am amazed.

she is said to be a duplicate of her. i wonder what he feels when he looks at her. does he really see who stands before him? or is he just reminded of her and feels sad. i wonder how hard it'll be, when it is my turn...how will i cope? what will i miss? what will i regret? even if i have these questions in my head, it's too hard to change now. too many things have happened, maybe when i'm older. i wonder if you would be proud about the choices your children have made. the choices that affect their children, the lives they live today. i wonder if you would have ever won the lottery with the numbers we would all circle in :) i wonder what would be different if you were still around. i wonder how different we would be, the way we live our lives, the way we treat each other. i think you could have influenced that heavily.

i wish you were here for me to hug and talk to.
i wish you were here so i could hold your hand tightly knowing you would never let me go.
i wish you stayed long enough for us to be spoiled rotten by you.
i wish you were here so i could see what it was like for him to be told off by you.
i wish you were here for him to smile more, for him to feel secure.
i wish you were here for her to know and love.
i miss your smell. i miss your warmth. i miss your hugs. i miss your laugh. i miss you.
if only you didn't have to go so far away so early...i love you.

Q.十一

Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to

i was your favourite,
and you were mine.

never being close with family was hard,
you were the only one there for me.

i wish you would still be looking out for me now.
i wish you could see everything that's happening in my life,
i wish you could meet all my friends,
i wish you could talk to me about anything and everything, like we used to.
i wish you could have come to my graduation, watch me get a job, receive a gift from my first pay check, meet my boyfriends, watch me get married, carry your great-grandchildren.

death happened upon you way too early in your life..

i miss you more than ever,
and i love you much more than that.