trick or treat

where every action can be interpreted in more than one way,
i begin to wonder in what way you assumed when you did ...

where everything said can be understood differently,
i never stop wondering what it meant when you said ...

so tell me...

could this be a treat,
or is this another one of your tricks?

v.oops

uh oh spaghettios :x

v.halloween

ahh happy halloween ;)

http://hollywoodoverdose.tumblr.com/post/1437002710/fuck-yes-its-halloween

v.truce

i just finished watching easy j episode six of gossip girl !
chuck and blair called a truce but didn't get back together :(
i hope they do! the show is really only interesting because of those two :)

i wonder who would be seen as the equivalent to chuck and blair

wonder who i would call a truce with as well =\ hmm..

guitar

i have to say guitar really is the best instrument a guy could ever play :)

extra points if you can play guitar and sing!

helen le you lucky thing!

jealousy much!! :$

happy birthday dear :)

xo

v.helen le :)

my dearest helen,

happy birthday ! it's barely been a year and in such a short time we've become so close! :)

i love you for being there for me in anger, tears and smiles :) 

you are one of the few to have seen a tear shed from my eyes :x

i love you for the way you can make me smile and have such good times and memories :) e.g. last weekend =$

i love you for being you! don't ever change. you are helen for a reason and no one can ever replace you.

i love you for being my b2/s2 cos we're cool like that =$ we've learnt a lot this past year don't you think? :)

i love that i've come to know such a caring and loving person who makes such a huge effort to make me cupcakes on my birthday as well as drag me out on my birthday weekend to celebrate =$ love you!!

i'll be there for you through thick and thin:) come rain or shine :)

come asian barbie or being super skanktastic ;)

i love you dearly and wish you the best year ahead!

it's nineteen baby! our last year before the 20s =x

shall we live it up ? :) 

happy birthday once again have a fantastic birthday! don't worry about becoming an oompa loompa ! you'll still be as skanktastic as ever =$

<3 

ness

skank1.b1

xoxo

i'll be there for you,

when the rain starts to pour,

i'll be there for you

like i've been there before

i'll be there for you

cos you're there for me too

runaway baby!

I love you so 
That's what you'll say 
You'll tell me 
Baby baby please don't go away 
But when I play, I never stay


To every girl that I meet here this is what I say: 
Run run run away, run away baby 
Before I put my spell on you 
You better get get get away get away darling 
'Cause everything you heard is true 
Your poor little heart will end up alone 
'Cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone 
So you better run run run away run away baby 

v.average

i believe it's only going to get worse.
you are going to be on my mind even more so than before.
my life will revolve around you.
i think i could possibly get oneitis with you :(
my judgement will be clouded.
my jealousy will get out of hand.
my thoughts will be all over the place
will i be able to handle failure? unlikely.
so what happens if i fail with you :(

v.structure

i'm pretty happy with the exec team for next year :)
but first structure has to be established!
hopefully that will be done tomorrow !
january 2011 is going to be major busy :x
how exciting =)

O-Day's 2011

24th FEB - CURTIN

25th FEB - UWA

things are all fun and games, until someone gets hurt

v.power couple

how long will you be able to keep personal and business separated?
is it a wise move?
i guess we shall see.
maybe it'll run as smoothly as your relationship.
such a long term thing like this could be risky
but i wish you all the best!
good luck and congratulations my dear! 
i'm proud of you :)
of course it was expected but still ;)


it'll be an interesting year to come....




next up: asia and cs

v.lame

how lame is it that it only takes a second to respark everything
HAH what balance.

stupid is what it is.
change was inevitable for both parties.

--

i gotta find fluro stuff eh =\

motivation is what i need to find

v.mistake

no matter how hard we try, we're not always going to get it right.

we feel certain things for certain reasons

some things that we have to overcome some way or another,

it's okay to be in the wrong once in a while,

as long as you realise what you've done

and you do something about it to make it right, 

it's going to be a-okay! :)

no matter what you do, 

you know who is still going to be around

to chat to, to cry to, to whinge to :)

you'll be fine, it's only a phase my dear

just learn from your mistakes 

don't be sad, the pain will fade

things will get better as time goes on

if you want it, stay away from those who are going to trigger your urges =x




you're an idiot. you should know your influence.
don't take advantage of it. leave them be.
they've healed or are in the process of healing
you have someone, who you obviously don't give a shit about.
ass

v.worse

i'm getting worse.

grenade

easy come easy go
that's just how you live,
take, take, take it all
but you never give.

to give me all of your love is all i ever asked.
cause what you don't understand is..
i'd catch a grenade for you,
throw my hand on a blade for you,
i'd jump in front of a train for you.
you know i'd do anything for you,
i would go through all this pain,
take a bullet straight through my brain,
yes.
i would die for you.
but you won't do the same

bruno mars =]

v.yay you?

yay you, you've tamed him
yay you, you have control
yay you, you've finally sorted out your priorities
yay you, you don't have drama
yay you, you're over it?
yay you, are you starting to open your heart?
yay you, you have oneitis.

yay me, vampire diaries is out soon :$

FUCK YOU NEW MSN >=( I HATE YOU!

--

exams are coming up :( 

no idea where to start studying!

--
Spot the difference.

v.window

nothing you can do but watch
it hurts that you can only be so helpless
only being able to stare from the outside,
you have no control but to just think of what-ifs

i'm left speechless, clueless, confused as to what i'm doing is wrong. what am i supposed to do? 

how do you think it makes me feel? regardless, i still care.

--
i don't like how you are trying to control me
my lips are really dry :( i think its cos i've been overdosing with the soy sauce when i eat my sushi and stuff :(
well last night was a saturday, helen came over and we were going to have moscato and cheese and crackers with bring it on movies!
but what happened? these silly two teens got influenced into going to nonetheless but metro city! george came out! he was soooooo drunk! haha heard he yacked =\ hopefully he's okay!
we wanted to go home early :( but we stayed
jackie's car broke down and bran hit jackie's car with sago's?
orange was so drunk he even died in gross dirty metro city toilets to sleep =.=
and of course, the highlight of the night...no comment.
today was unproductive

mother's back tomorrow. brother's back tomorrow =)
going to bring mother to POPPOS! must remember to bring msu card

omg rugby is such a rough sport! derek is never playing it >=(
will go smash the boys that break him >=(
mmm..thats all from me for now

spoon-fed

it's hard to know what to do if you've only ever been spoon fed for that certain experience,
you're left clueless about what to do and how to start,
and because it becomes hard, you are confused and dumbstruck as how to fix the problem that occurs
and then...the only word that seems to pop up in your head regularly once you hit something is...
end.

v.different

we're different because we are meant to be,
the way we act and respond isn't on purpose
it is only natural for us
we're cool like that :)
and no one can take that away from us
we may seem to have the world,
but for some things you've probably had it better than us,
because we are us, we've probably missed out on a lot,
however we have gained in other aspects
hard yet easy, you wonder what lies ahead....


it's crazy how instantly you can change your mind
once someone else from the outside tells you their opinion
it's great isn't it? to have people from different groups as your friends :)
it opens your eyes, your mind and heart
and clears the fog when your vision gets blurred

--
i'm getting sick :(
i'm going to eat poppos tomorrow with my sisters :)

v.karaoke

just got home from karaoke!
what a long day :(
i woke up early and made breakfast for bridget :) well recess =x

karaoke compared to last year was a hit!
however, there were too many contestants in the first round!
the winner of the competition was Gabriel Chan!
Jackie liked him muchly!
jess kissed me =x
jackie kissed jess's boob
sago lay

19 => top 5 + 2 => top 3

i was running around like a maniac :( and i told so many people off :(
such a bitch :( some people are going to think i'm some crazy control freak and run off :(
people are going to stab me cos some of them were viet :(

2140 is due tmr.
thank god for ernst <3

i got my presents today :)
a jar of hearts from sago
and shoes from meng
does meng know what asians say when it comes to shoes as presents :O
i'm sure jackie will enlighten him bahahaha

i'm so tired!
i think my sisters ate my roast vegetables which i specifically ta pau-ed from the biz school cafe to bring home and eat later :(
it's cold :( it's spose to be really nice weather :(
i'm sick :( *sigh

time to finish off 2140 and go sleep!
xo

start!

from tomorrow,

no junk food
chocolates
sweets
fast food - i.e. maccas, hjs, kfc

if i get hungry, going to drink water!

try and have 3 proper meals :)
roast vegetable foccacia ftw !!
edens :)

fresh and healthy :):)

change is great :)
when you know it's for the best :)

v.cut down

on eating so much :(
i'm going to grow sideways :(

on being so slack
exams are just around the corner and barely know anything!
gotta start focusing and figuring out a study plan

on sleeping so much
my body clock is so stupid
i sleep soooo much that i'm so tired all the time and can sleep anytime
even if i sleep early, like 9/10/11pm i still snooze for like 2 hours :(
bad bad bad

on being so unhealthy
i gotta start exercising! and drinking more water and less alcohol, my skin is dying =[

so much to change :(
easier said than done, one step at a time i guess...

swing

you want to be the best, to reach the furthest, 

making sure to hold on tight never wanting to let go,

looking side to side at your competition

because once something comes along and distracts you

you start to buckle 

your focus, your strength starts to subside,

and you end up falling smack bam on the floor

what's left. nothing but pain.

you kind of wonder what hit you,

what made you lose focus,

what was so influential to affect you

maybe it was fear 

maybe it was intrigue

who will be there running to your rescue

back

things seem to always like to repeat itself,

it's back to the same old story 

where the same old decisions are made once again

in order to keep that normality for yourself and others

why does it keep coming back though?

the same old topics,

the same old assumptions, 

the same old questions

is it because we're supposed to do something different?

to make a different choice for another pathway in life.

since it always seems to come up again, 

does it mean that the first choice we made

or the usual choice we make is wrong?  

confusing eh.

sleep

the best way to escape

v.hearsay

if you want to know things, just ask the person. if you are meant to know, then you are.
if you aren't then so be it. i'm sure you will find out sooner or later.
do i look like someone that will cave first? especially when it comes to emotions?
people don't get called ice queen for nothing. people aren't told they don't have a heart for no reason.
emotions are a sign of weakness. if you know me, you know the way i am. if you don't, there is nothing i can do.


if i like you, you wouldn't ever get it out from me until you said i like you first. 








you cause so much trouble for me. it's not even funny anymore.
if i have to stay away from you to keep things a bit more stable and normal. i will.

v.nineteen

Birthday Week :)


7th
7.30am - breakfast with angel :) got my lovely birthday present of us from high school and fresher year! yay explorus =x
11.30am  - dimsum with sago and meng then + annie angel and jackie. sago, meng and i ate quite a bit eh =\
4.00pm - tav :) thank you for coming :) jackie brought cake and tarts :$ helen brought cupcakes and a pressie ! epic love to those two :)
6.00pm - spring feast
8.30pm - chocolate pizza @ the basement! thank you orange :)
10.00pm - home sweet home


so it was my birthday the other day

first time i woke up so early in ages D:
but it was worth it :)
thank you to everyone that came :)
i really wonder what happens in your last teenage year aye =\
high school is over. being a teen is over. the twenties are just around the corner. scary much?

went out last night :) had such fun with helen and jackie :) jen fails when it comes to alcohol! she succumbs to it so easily haha!i was soooo hungry :) thank god for billy lees! but it would have been wayyy better if andy and i got our bacon deluxes!

V.Eighteen

Its my last few hours as an eighteen year old. Looking back I have had such a great year. I've met so many people and made so many new friends :) helen, josh, wfc etc. :)

it was this wednesday last year I turned eighteen! And it was pretty memorable! Pretty much the first time I met most of the WFC boys who have now become my very good friends :) we went to the tav! I remember bran getting wasted and yackking on james oval as we watched ASIA train for rugby! then we went to annie's for dinner :)

uni life was new, miss high school life still ! the girls are still around :) so things are pretty much the same. just with more people. more freedom ish. i think though, that things with parents have gotten worse =\
i've gotten heaps rebel :( who sneaks out on saturday nights :x

there have been a lot of ups and downs but it has been a good year :)

nineteen is coming up! my last teen year, i wonder what it will bring...

v.realise

lying in bed, thinking about it for an hour,

wondering why i get affected so easily now

i think what i need is closure.

i realise i have too many what ifs floating in my head,

and i get lost and lose myself in these thoughts

they probably will never become a reality

which makes me pretty sad,

the possibilities make me think so much

that i can't handle it anymore.

it hurts too much to think what if,

that because of the way i am,

things never will ever turn out right

and because i can't change myself

all that is left will be emptiness and loneliness

stupid

it's stupid to think how you affect me,

even though nothing happened, nothing came out of it,

when it concerns you, i just seem to care for no reason at all.

we barely even talk and are barely even friends,

we were but we're not now just mere acquaintances.

yet still, your name is heard constantly,

and what happens in your life, 

can change my mood instantly.

how stupidly does my brain work and think.

what affects me, shouldn't.

it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

i want to change and adjust,

i want to let go of things easily

but, it never seems to happen.

maybe it is because nothing came out of it,

would that be the reason why it's still lodged in my brain?

i don't understand why i am like this,

it seems so easy for others to let go and move on,

sadly, that doesn't seem to work for me.

i try to leave but my brain just keeps these stupid thoughts,

never ceasing to forget, never seeming to be free

leap

courage, to handle the consequences
faith, that you will figure it out no matter the outcome
hope, that it happened for a reason
knowledge, that you are never alone
do you have what it takes to leap?

him.

his name is daniel phan.

also known as sago.

and we love him :)

we miss him dearly too!

v.focus

i need to find a goal,
to find motivation,
that will make me focus
on something other than what is going on now

v.tired

tired of being asked the same question,

because i don't know the answer.

my eyes are sore

you have what you need

now just know what you want

accomplish

in my life, i've always listened to my parents.
been obedient when it came to decisions,
sure they've let me do a couple of things by choice,
but really, i don't think i know any other way,
i think i don't know what i want,
because i've always known what i wanted because it was my parent's wants
so now i'm lost.
i haven't accomplished anything.
and it makes me sad. and i don't think anyone can make me better.

alcohol is bad for the skin

end of story.
detox soon (hopefully)

v.fragile

i think i'm in a fragile state of mind at the moment,

anything you say or do may effect me more so now than it ever would have before,

it's a period that i will have to get over sooner or later,

what is said, what is done, you may not realise but it does effect me,

it's not something i'm going to make a big deal of as i'll deal with it as always

msu ball 2010

table 23 + gan and shaw :)

very nicely done :)
had a table full of boys. how like me :x
drank at ernst's before hand and at the ball
i paced myself pretty well
got drunk =\
i think i embarrassed myself in front of some people :(
how depressing :(
popped my emo-drunk cherry
sorry sago :( and annie :(
what a pain i must be :(

it was really fun tho,
jono is a slut :x
but I stopped it and got told off by the other boys for interfering :(

next year should be even better :)
msu dance was really good! way better than asia's i must say. hehe annie danced really well =$
claps to msu :) yay!
msu gonna pwn asia 2011 ;)

v.broken

you can still see the cracks,

the lines telling you where it hurts, 

and even if you try your best,
to let it heal over time,

it will never be the way it was
the scars are still there

october

you are here :)