Q.三十

Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror.

You need to change.
ugh.

v.thirty

complicated. imperfect. broken.

Q.二十九

Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to.

you say that you understand what i'm going through,
but do you really?

if i told you everything that i went through,
everything that happened to me,
every thought that i've had in my head,
would you look at me differently?

you're really special to me.
we have a strong but not needy bond.
i never want that to change.

so i'm just going to keep everything a secret from you.

JW

v.day twenty-nine

no one.
there isn't someone i'm too scared to tell everything to.
wait maybe one. but that person will come along when they do.
they'll find out what they need to when the time comes.
there isn't much to tell.
only a warning.

i never wanna see you cry and i never wanna tell a lie

Burden

Being the way I am is tiring.
Being affected by the way you are is pure madness.
The way I react is the result of your actions.
Being spoiled, being treated the way I have, being relied on when it's not needed results in me.
I'm not her creation, but yours.
I am who you have influenced, made and nurtured me to be.
What you see is what you get.
What you see is your mirror image.
You don't like what you see? Sure get rid of the problem. It's the easiest option is it not?
I'd rather disappear entirely then forever deal with this.
Sometimes I wish something terminal would happen to me. It's nothing emo...it is just plain easier. The years of dealing with you cut by more than half. It would be peace.
She says that what is one month of peace going to do to a lifetime ahead. I believe that a month's peace is better than nothing.
I'm sorry for the way I am. I truly am. I'm sorry I'm a piece of shit that doesn't appreciate what she has right in front of her. I'm sorry that I am just a waste of your money. I guess you really should just find something else to invest in.
I run to my room to hide because that is my freedom. This is your house, your rules, your food, your bed, your clothes, your life to control.
I'm sorry I don't change for the better. I'm sorry that I don't make it easier for you to deal with. You have more than enough on your plate without the extra burden.
Appreciate what she does for you.
You hold more of the blame than anyone.
I hope one day you lose her.
For her happiness is worth hurting you more than a million times over and over again.

Salt

Its a taste I haven't experienced in a long time.

Q.二十八

Day 28 - Someone that changed your life

the first person ever to touch my heart,
the first person ever to make me cry like that,
the first person ever to have me realise things i never thought about before,

it was you.

you were great.
a great friend,
a great support pillar,
just great.

you were the best.
the best person i knew,
the best ear whenever i needed to talk,
the best.

you were my first true best friend.
you listened to every problem i had.
you were there for me every time.
and i can't be more grateful.

you're my mabf,

CL

reach?

is it selfish of you to think that you are?

v.day twenty-eight

you've changed me.
you've corrupted me.
you've made me the way i am.
if you want to complain about it,
blame yourself.
don't point the finger at anyone else.

the person able to undo what you've done
you'll realise is the one that saved me.

Q.二十七

Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day

that totally does not make any sense at all,
but if i had to choose anyone, it would be you.

i thought you were nice
you were friendly
but there was that inkling of unrest which laid within me whenever i talked to you.

you were too nice
too friendly.
and that inkling of unrest unresolved itself,
when you were the one he ran to..

AL

~~~~~

royal show!!

you are the best =)
please stay in my life like this,
i'm much happier this way =D

colour

to add some colour in our lives.

colour challenge:

wear colours for at least 3 out of 5 days during uni

v.day twenty-seven

no idea for this one.

don't exactly look like the friendliest person on earth when meeting people.
if people are too friendly it's either they are fake or just plain naive and dumb and wanna seem stupid and ditzy
yay to friendly people.
but what kind of friendly are we talking about eh!
*shrugs

Q.杰伦

好久不见你还好吗

你的小狗长大了吗
我的围巾还围着吗
我的相片都丢了吧
我剪不到后面头发
这个借口还不错吧
一把剪刀一堆废话
还不是想求求你回来吧

别再一个人在生气 (mai go ji lei lang bei xiung ki)
给他烦恼 给他操心 (hu yi hun no hu yi xio xin)
虽然不关我的事 (sui ren m guan wa e dai ji)
谁叫他是我的兄弟 (xio gio i xi wa e hia di ye)

都这么久就算了吧 (lu jia mi gu du shua shua ki)
想想秋天就要过去 (xiu xiu qiu ti du bei gui ki ye)
冬天来临他会怕冷 (dong ti lai lin i e gia ling)
你不回来难道要我抱他 (li wai deng lai gam gong ai wa po yi)

这样好吗 (an ne gam ho)
是我不好
我没有紧紧抱住你
你说泪留着很危险
如果等雨一起
流下不让同情发现

我对天空这个那个流星
大喊后会不会有奇迹
就算做朋友也没关系
为你改变了自己都不认识自己
不是我跑去了整形
只是我拿出真心
开一瓶这个那个香槟
去我的Mr. J餐厅

点蜡烛顺便吃个甜品
庆祝你打死不联络的毅力
冷战早已经不流行
赶快回来到
我身边 (wa shin bin)

~~~

because Jay Chou is love s2 =)

Q.二十六

Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to

"promise me you'll come to work tomorrow?"
"ok"

Carter Lin

LOL

mask

finding a mask to hide behind is simple yet hard

we hide to protect ourselves, we hide to survive

being able to keep hiding is a challenge

hopefully one day when someone can remove that mask

we won't be scared to be who we are, to open our hearts and melt the ice

v.day twenty-six

pinky promise was probably bridget. but have no recollection whatsoever about what we promised each other

Q.二十五

Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times.

if anyone, it would be you.
and i'm only saying that because i haven't talked to you in like, a billion years.

i hope you're doing okay,
and i miss you talking to you everyday,
but i don't know when you're busy and when you're not,
and i don't want to disturb you if you are..
ahhhh, the conflict >.<"

give me the yes signal please?

and make it obvious.
come on,
i'm stupid.

fucking ave

you are ave

and you are

all fucking ave.

ugh

learn already

fuck.

vanessa needs to learn to stop swearing.
hopefully she'll learn something when she turns nineteen and grows up.

cocktail 2010

shit as
drunk bitches
ave music although the end got good
free alcohol
cocktail was bad.
jen got drunk off her face, i swear something happened to her...but what can you do if she doesn't know herself or say something didn't =\
jackie got drunk off her face, was in the toilet for ages
helen my dear skanktastic twin got a job that was gg she was so nice to get water for others lol but luckily james was nice enough to take her job while she went and partied with me for a bit
gan gave me free drinks :)
james was nice and helped me get a chair
john dropped us home :) thank you as always <3
sago helped me round up people thankyou! <3
justin looked for us when we were lost
mervyn gave me a rose petal <3
meng and john talked for ages hell mean telling people to fuck off. violent drunks.
ave night.
ugh

i think i'm wanting to stay home and sleep
being a hermit can be fun!

yackers: jackie, orange

*sigh
cocktail 2011? we'll see -.-

v.day twenty-five

i hope you're okay,
what you're going through
i can't even imagine how it feels,
but i hope you're doing fine,
i hope you're able to handle it
i didn't want to nor mean to hurt you,
but i did and i'm really really sorry that i did
thank you for always being there
thank you for always caring
i'm sorry i couldn't follow through

i hope you're dealing,
it's been a long while since it happened,
it still affects you, he does at least.
he probably comes into your mind
more so than you want
he probably invades your thoughts
without your permission
you're a strong girl,
well you can be...
somethings you will have to battle yourself
just know i'm there at the side lines or finish line
waiting for you :)

i think it would be hard for you,
to be able to adapt to what is going on currently,
things have change significantly,
in such a short period of time
all i can hope is that you can pull through
with a whole hearted smile on your face and no regrets.
do what is right for you
fight for what you want and believe in
fight..for your happiness

v.day twenty-four

i don't have a favourite memory.
i have too many to choose from.
whatever memories they are
they are precious ones:)
that when i think back about them
they brighten my day :)
thankyou for making those memories with me !

one was last year for my birthday :)
it was first tav and then we all went out for dinner. even the third years came without even really knowing me! that was sweet :) haha. i think that was one of the best birthdays! bran got sick and yackked :(
and
simon dying at my house. cleaned up his yack the next day =[
got to talk to sago and tony for a bit :)
sago was such a sweetheart waiting for simmy while the others were fail and ready to set off to metros >=(

i'm sure there are many more memories to come :)
how exciting !

Q.二十四

Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory.

this is going to be...
either you or mother.

mother surprised me with Jay Chou Concert tickets on my 17th birthday.
it was probably the most well-spent birthday i've had in years.
thanks mother =)

as for him,
we created a lot of good memories together.

we were happy.
well, at least i was.

thank you,
to both of you.

~~~

omg
september's almost over.
o.o

v.when

when will some people begin to have confidence in themselves,

when will some people being to believe

when will some people realise what they have right in front of them

when will some people know what they want,

when will some people know what they need,

when will some people be brave

when will some people make a change to their lives,

when will some people believe that sometimes, shit just happens.

when will some people begin to take risks,

when will some people stop being scared

when will i not be the 'some people'

it's always easier to do things with a friend by your side :)

but some things you do have to learn by yourself

all is fair in love and war

Q.二十三

Day 23 - The last person you kissed

That would have to be you.
...unfortunately.

eyecandy

yeah you are ;)
too pro to catch so many girls' eyes!
*giggle*
hope we become friends :x

hooked: skanks, jen + probably heaps more

v.day twenty three

i won't tell you that i love you,

kiss or hug you cause i'm bluffin,

never macked anyone.
too innocent!

i wish there was a question that was:

" last person that licked you "

Q.二十二

Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to

Just because I want to give them this chance,
doesn't mean they want this chance.

that,
is exactly you and I,

ET

v.day twenty-two

i don't tend to regret decisions i make.
they were made for a reason.
second chances don't come that often
i don't any have come up for me
if they have, i guess i never realised it.

who would i give a second chance to?
perth
because it's got freaking ave dresses
and i need one for msu ball >=(

pain :(

stitches
gastric
chopped ankle

no fun:( just pain:(
how am i spose to wear my heels on friday! :(
aunty chia comes back saturday morning :(
6am :(

Q.二十一

Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression

like, everyone.

it's probably a bad thing,
but it's gotten me through 19 years of life,
and i've made some pretty good friends,
and let go of some shocking ones.
so i guess it hasn't done me much wrong.
so i'm just gonna keep doing what i'm doing.
'cause it's working =)

~~~

happy birthday baby cousin!

v.day twenty-one

i don't remember my first impressions of people

i barely remember the first time i meet them.

but i know most people's first impression of me!

i remember meeting channy!

angel had asked him for help for mate

he talked funny haha like a kid :)

he still does talk like one =x

but he be serious.

maybe people sound like they talk like kids cos they're talking to angel hahah :x

i remember meeting meng

george's pres for asia cocktail last year

angel introduced us

sweet talker. 

nothing changed.

except just learnt how slutty he is ;) 

i remember meeting simmy jeff and amelia

because of mate :)

jellyfish for the win!

i thought they were all really nice to help little freshers like jen and i :$

simmy and amelia have disappeared now

jeff hides at home. eating his sweets and saving money for his japan trip!

they're all still friendly.

simmy still lies. jeff still reckons he doesn't smoke. keeps calling me nestifer when he's drunk :(

i met angel in french. she was just like a small cute asian girl. still is =\

ORANGE DOESN'T REMEMBER MEETING ME :(
correction: ORANGE MET ME ON MY BIRTHDAY :) most of the third years came tav! bran got drunk and yakked on james oval! then we all went to dinner at annie's :) that was a nice birthday memory!

i judge people no matter what the first impression may be.

i'm a bitch like that.

end of story.

i'll judge them from what i've heard

i'll judge them for what they look like

i'll judge them from the way the talk

i'll judge them from the way they walk

i'll judge them by their mannerisms

i pick up a lot of random shit.

such a bitch.

Q.二十

Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest

must I?

ugh

there
are
so
many
people
wearing
my
dress
epic
sad
face
!
:(
i
am
going
to
get
stabbed
!
:(

FAIL
BOAT
I HAD TO TAKE PANADEINE
WHY SO WEAK!

v.action packed dream

uni clubs asia/msu/cs...
helen and i get a tip off that they're going to come after us
we decide to bolt.
i steal johns car - dno how i got his keys =x
helen and i are on the run
cassi lu and jackie are with the others chasing us :(
john's car fucks up so they catch up
we some how end up in like the mountains its cold and like weird....
then we go to some random place, like alan kan is there o.O where its some like walk through thing to get to the other side of the tunnel
i take the key to a locker forgetting to put it back cos i didn't have to put anything away
luckily alan kan is nice enough to put it back for me :)
so then we're like sitting in the like intro room then they send jackie and cassi lu in
jackie notices helen and is like HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
then whoop gan in front of me and is like "hi ness *grinning*"
then he tries to like grab my wrists so i wldn't run :(
then i use sago's famous line "DON'T TOUCH ME!" then i add "i'll sue your ass"!
then he's like do it ~! pfft you'll barely get anything its all from super annuation or something =\ -.-
then gan changes to anthony lim o.O
i was like "i don't fucking care i'll sure your ass"
then he like whinged and aws like "noooooo don'tt! it's my money"
then ness rages and is like fuck off!

then they took us to a room where all the members of the club were
then otehr ppl calling me in real life =\ and i can't get out of the dream
but then i hear power ranger ringtone for smses and its like bam! awake!

eod

=[ i think my brain is exhausted :( i don't like these dreams!
sorry for stealing your car john :x

don't mind me just ranting :)

v.day twenty

no one.

i have a feeling i'll get screwed over bad one day.

kudos to that boy!

Q.十九

Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad

You.
the same one.

although I like to think that you are no longer part of my mind,
that I have managed to exile you away from my thoughts,
my brain likes to bring you back every now and then.
just for laughs.

it's too bad I don't see what's funny about it.

JACKIE MISSION 2#

SLEEPING BEAUTY :)

i know you
i walked with you
once upon a dream





-----

MISSION 1#
LION KING - COMPLETE



past disney movies watched:
* Cinderella
* Beauty & the Beast

V.PRETZELS

i really crave pretzels at the moment from Auntie Anne's :)

i've only found one pretzel place so far and that's in garbo! i think i shall need to go pretzel hunting! 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

CINNAMON SUGAR PLEASE !

v.day nineteen

only recently you've affected me a tad...i wonder why =.=

but yeah whatever. it was bound to happen i guess.
i wasn't immune to you. but still it wasn't enough
i have an inkling you've affected me more than i realised
but whats done is done i guess, you will be happier without me
it's all good :) i think i'll just stick to my korean dramas ;) baek seung jo <3
talking to you still makes me happy but what can you do :)
hah it was fun while it lasted aye :)


other than that, nothing really pesters me lately apart from uni and parents =\

Q.十八

Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be

better.

that is all

why are asian anesthesiologists fail? >=(

because this is the result:

1. getting drip needle injected into hand - digs around....can't get vein
2. leaves needle in there to get another  - is like don't worry i'll take it out when you're asleep
3. injects another needle in upper forearm near elbow - digs around...finds vein...finally
4. leaves it in for a few hours for the drip
5. next day....

day after injection - 18/09/10

fun...fun...fun...

stupid bitch >=(

v.wants

i want to...

...go to korea for a few months to learn korean
...go to taiwan for a few months to learn chinese
...finish uni before 25
...get my laptop fixed

i shall add more later :)

v.day eighteen

i wish i could be smart

so i could choose to study whatever i liked and didn't have a problem in switching careers whenever i wanted

i wish i could be talented

so i could get called by a talent scout and become a singer and make bagillions

i wish i could know what i want

so that i have a goal in life and knowledge when making decisions for myself

i wish i could be skinner and lankier

so i could look hot in dresses :x

i wish i could be more friendly when meeting people

so that i could learn to socialise more

i wish i could be less judgmental and pessimistic

so i could be happier with what i have

i wish i could be more last minute and not freak out

so i could enjoy things more fully

but being all these things, wouldn't make me the me i am today who has a bunch of great friends and has fun

but still you can't stop wanting things right? :x

v.day seventeen

jeremy lee.
you are both my childhood friend and my cousin :)

we have so many memories together with our siblings and cousins.
i miss those days! we had so much fun!
we played power rangers =$ i was the pink one, tricia was yellow, you were white, josh was black and i think derek was blue. there weren't enough girls so we made mingyong the orange hehe
and then you'd fold the chatterboxes and use them as our morphers :)
sounds lame but fun =]

i remember your mum also bought little chicks for us there was one for each!
and in order to distinguish them your mum painted a stroke of different coloured nail polish on each of its heads!

ah childhood how i miss you so :)

Q.十七

Day 17 - Someone from your childhood.

i remember when we met,
you were so skinny.
like a stick.
a very short stick.

then the next time we met again,
you had put on so much weight,
i didn't recognise you.
one thing that didn't change thou;
you didn't grow any taller.

since then you've lost weight,
and yet you still never grew.

we were heaps close at one point.
but then again, that's probably me with everyone around me.

it's hard to keep up a mutually agreeable relationship with someone when the other person doesn't want to be agreeable with you.
agreed?

XH

v.low blood pressure

sucks!

asian anesthesiologists suck >=(
stupid asian lady nurse sucked too >=(


SALAD DIET TO COMMENCE SOON YAY!
time to girl up ;)

cocktail is coming soon!
law is due soon!
2140 is due soon!
my laptop is to pass over soon!

v.giggle =$

mischievous kiss is now my new favourite drama at the moment.
goo jun pyo has nothing on baek seung jo  =$

why are koreans so good looking and cute and tall and to die for :x

However Jang Geun Seuk :x he owns all of them =$

A.N.JELL from You're Beautiful <3

I MEAN BOYS JACKIE <3

cause of death?

i think i will die from cancer.

i reckon that at the rate i'm going something is bound to come up.

guess better listen to angel and get a check up e v e r y  y e a r ! Y A Y =)

i hope that if i were to die it would be much older, 

so that if i have kids, they're all old enough to take care of themselves,

if i were to die young, i'd rather not have a relationship, i'd rather be alone.
but let's hope for the best shall we?:)

~~~~~xo~~~~~

i would like to die of old age
or something natural
but i think i might die of this cough, 
if it doesn't get fixed soon.. =/

Q.十六

Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country.

i remember you,
how could i ever forget?
endless lunchtimes where we were speaking our own language to the other,
which progressed onto lunchtimes where we attempted at speaking each other's language to each other.

i thought our friendship would last forever,
but i also knew, eventually,
the day would come when you'd have to leave.

we tried to keep in touch for most of the time
and you still tried to come back to visit us when you had the time and money,
to be honest i miss you.

you were a lot of fun to be around
and you provided me with a lot of comfort whenever i needed it.

hopefully we'll be as close as we were in the future one day,

MB

MINQ

i realised i haven't blogged about minq.

SIGH TO THIS EVENT!
although the dj was good...i wanted to shoot the president >=(
major major >=(
music was good tho :)
the kinda music i would want at metros hehe =]
the games were semi-ish fail...but worked out in the end.
the food competition made me realise how hard it is to like swallow moon cake o.O

angel got drunk.
jess and i took a bagillion photos
jackie jess and i took a bagillion photos
jackie and jess came late >=(

but it made my day when a random lady was like" you have really nice legs and i rarely check out girls" =$
white people :x they know how to make you blush =$

the fortune cookie game would have been good if it had been pulled off properly =\



but...what can you do! guess plan better next year aye!
2011 what will it bring :o

v.day sixteen

dear gwen,


i wonder how you're doing where you are
are you finding it boring as usual?
nothing new in your life? no guys? nothing at all???? :(
i hope you find something interesting that will keep you happy and bubbly :)
well, a lots happened i guess for me ! but we can talk about that when i go back :)
how is your brother? has he come out yet? :x
when is he due to go in for service? :O


it's so cold in perth :( yet i still wear what i wear in summer >.<
i've received so many names this year...
*medusa
*gorgon
*heartbreaker
*obese
*bimbo
*skank
*slut
:( i think the list will keep getting larger 


i miss you!~
we shall catch up soon =]
love me
xoxo

v. motivation

i don't have any. no motivation at all :(
someone help me get some!
:( i'm lost.

Q.十五

Day 15 - The person you miss the most.

you.

and you know who you are.

v.day fifteen

i don't think there is just one person, there would be a couple of people...
jono, ernst, donald :) we had such fun times last year :)

hmm...i don't know who i miss, because i spent time with people i want to be around
i miss bec :) i haven't seen her in yonks :)

i miss my old self,
one that wasn't so bitchy,
one that wasn't such a "heartbreaker",
one that wasn't so confused,
one that didn't talk so much,
one that wasn't X*(insert number NJ!) L :(
one that wasn't lazy as :(
one that was smarter and more focussed!
ignorance was bliss.

v.day fourteen

you've pretty much been there my entire childhood
growing from children to teenagers and soon to be adults :)
it's sad how distance keeps us apart,
we're too busy for each other,
but i guess we have our own lives to live.
it's alright though, because when we do have the chance to catch up
past the awkward starts, we're still us :) jjb


--
i slept at 9.39pm last night =\

Q.十四

Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from

we were once so close, so tight,
so much like best friends.

i used to call you and spend all my credit,
you used to ride your bike to my house.
you used to listen to all my troubles,
i used to listen to you sing.

it was probably because of the fact that i do not have an older brother,
that's why i was so attracted to you.
you cared for me, protected me,
and lent me a shoulder to lean on whenever i needed it.

then i moved on from middle school to high school,
and our phone conversations went from 5hours to 5minutes
and soon to none.

i quite miss you hey,
you were one of my support pillars when i was younger.
and even thou i have found new pillars now,
i don't mind having one more?

always waiting for you to cruise back into my life
with a big smile and a casual "hey",

TQ

meet joe black

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. 


you never know, lightning could strike :)

---

Susan Parrish: Do you love making love to me?
Joe Black: Yes
Susan Parrish: More than peanut butter?
Joe Black: Yes. Much more

haha :x

brad pitt! what a hottie =$

it's hard to let go, but that's life.

v.day thirteen

forgiving people is easy. you can get over what ever happened to you, but the fact is that it still happened.
it's still a scar at the back of your mind. those scars will not disappear, you won't think about them until something bad happens and triggers it.

oh! i know :)
( forgive me for breaking your heart. it wasn't intentional. i'm sorry )
                                     x (insert number) :(

Q.十三

Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you

i'm sorry for all the pressure i've put on your shoulders,
and problems i've caused in your life.
you are a really special existence to me.
and i'm really glad i had the chance to meet you.

there isn't enough time in this world for me to repay your kindness,
and there isn't enough words for me to say to ask for your forgiveness,
but i do hope that you see that i am sincere,
and i do feel sorry for everything i've done.

i'm really sorry we aren't as close as we were before,
please,
let's be friends again?

VD

Q.十二

Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.

i think this post correlates to Day 7 a lot.

although there have been people in my life who've hurt me,
no one has hurt me nearly as much as you have.

probably because i never let them.

i gave you the power to hurt me,
trusting that you wouldn't.
who knew.

v.day twelve

i wouldn't know the answer to this one,

i think people would say i cause more pain :(
all i can say is i'm sorry

--
what do you expect me to do now?
you obviously think you know what is best
but i don't know if you really do.
in your mind you think you do,
but are you really?

v.day eleven

i wonder what you would say, watching him be the way he is. he misses you so much...i don't think there is a day where you don't come to mind. every time he looks in the mirror, in his reflection, all he sees...is...you.
it hurts him every time he is reminded of you, i guess that when someone is gone, you regret not cherishing them more. it's scary to think about the similarities, even i am amazed.

she is said to be a duplicate of her. i wonder what he feels when he looks at her. does he really see who stands before him? or is he just reminded of her and feels sad. i wonder how hard it'll be, when it is my turn...how will i cope? what will i miss? what will i regret? even if i have these questions in my head, it's too hard to change now. too many things have happened, maybe when i'm older. i wonder if you would be proud about the choices your children have made. the choices that affect their children, the lives they live today. i wonder if you would have ever won the lottery with the numbers we would all circle in :) i wonder what would be different if you were still around. i wonder how different we would be, the way we live our lives, the way we treat each other. i think you could have influenced that heavily.

i wish you were here for me to hug and talk to.
i wish you were here so i could hold your hand tightly knowing you would never let me go.
i wish you stayed long enough for us to be spoiled rotten by you.
i wish you were here so i could see what it was like for him to be told off by you.
i wish you were here for him to smile more, for him to feel secure.
i wish you were here for her to know and love.
i miss your smell. i miss your warmth. i miss your hugs. i miss your laugh. i miss you.
if only you didn't have to go so far away so early...i love you.

Q.十一

Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to

i was your favourite,
and you were mine.

never being close with family was hard,
you were the only one there for me.

i wish you would still be looking out for me now.
i wish you could see everything that's happening in my life,
i wish you could meet all my friends,
i wish you could talk to me about anything and everything, like we used to.
i wish you could have come to my graduation, watch me get a job, receive a gift from my first pay check, meet my boyfriends, watch me get married, carry your great-grandchildren.

death happened upon you way too early in your life..

i miss you more than ever,
and i love you much more than that.

mj

he's way too cool :)
love watching his videos:)

the way you make me feel
you're really turning me on ;) 


haha aaron carter! i want candy =)
set a summer's sun on fire

v.day ten

i would LOVE to talk to you more! it would only make me more happy :)
i don't know why i just make it hard for myself i guess, but i will try to not make it awkward!
i pulled away for a reason back then, out of fear. but i don't think i want to be scared anymore.
i think i've learnt that sooner or later, if you want something, you have to try and so,
i will try, even if it's just going to turn out not the way i hoped.
to go back to the past, just once, to change the way i acted, to change my choices then, to do it all over again.
now that would be epic :) and that would be one of my many dreams coming true :)

hope

don't fake a smile in front of me if you're sad,

don't put up a strong front, when i can see how much you're suffering

i only wish you all the best

i only hope and wish you happiness

don't fret if you just need someone to sit with you

i'll be there :)

Q.十

Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.

a lot of people actually.
there are so many people out there who are so very interesting.
and even in those who i've met,
there are heaps of people who i'd like to talk to much more than i do at the moment.

most of all are the ones who i used to talk to heaps,
and have just recently lost touch with.

you, are a very good example.
we used to be just work buddies,
then we found we had more connections than we thought,
and we talked day and night,
we joked, we had fun.

but now, since i stopped working there,
we kind of drifted.
i mean we still talked,

what happened to us? =(
we're too caught up in our busy lives to talk to each other anymore?

that truly makes me sad.

SL

v.day nine

korean actors for sure :)

hehe...like daniel henney was in perth recently =x

but defs like jang geun suek for the win! 

before it was max, but now its like yunho! he was soooo =$ in mirotic

goo jun pyo ie. lee min ho

rain wldn't be too bad either !

oh lemme think white.. joe jonas :x 

damn these koreans and their looks and talent :(

jealousy much!

Q.九

Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet

That would definitely, have to, must be, you. =)

JC

Q.八

Day 8 - Your Favourite Internet Friend

if i seriously think about it,
i'm pretty sure we have more fun online with each other
than when we're in real life.

being around you in real life is kind of hard.
you're always busy with your life,
and you're always living in your own lalaland, to some extent.

not that we care about what other people say about us,
but when we are together,
it causes a lot of problems and rumours..
like how all your friends thought we were dating?
yeh.. not cool.

and then the little accident,
that wasn't very cool either.

and although we can't put the blame on either you or me for that one,
it still causes problems between us whether we like it or not.

so we'll be internet best-buds,
yeh?

JC

v.day eight

the people i talk to online are the people i talk to in real life =\
there isn't one of you but a few. it'll vary from time to time, but a few stick throughout :)

you entertain me, you make me smile, you kill my boredom, you help me figure out things,
you make me realise, you always nag me about knowing what i want, you always call me a slut, you always say i'm horny, i enjoy talking to each one of you every night - never get sick and tired, you help me, i help you, i listen to you and your problems, you listen to me rant

i'll always be there, online in some way whether through fb, msn, skype or blog :)

thank you for always being there. thank you for listening to my silly rants. thank you for making my days. :)

8.9.10

break

if you're gonna tamper with his heart,
you better watch out.
because if you break it one more time,
i'll freaking break your face.
no joke.
don't test me.

~~~~~xo~~~~~

i'm going to crash and burn.

have to prioritise. 

a break from the drama.

a break from the stress.

one step at a time.

Q.七

Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

it's finally your turn.

where should i begin.
i guess it isn't exactly wrong to do these 2 posts in the same day,
because you too, did start off as a stranger to me.
just another person walking by,
just another student at the library,
just another boy.

and then from there, it changed.

maybe we got together a little too fast..
but it was all so magical,
like everything was meant to be.
it was perfect.

we had gone through so much in our 1.5 years of relationship,
we thought we were going to end up together forever,
but it obviously was not meant to be.

there will come a time in your life when you will become infatuated with a single soul.
for this one person, you'd do anything and not think twice about it.
and when you ask why, you have no answer.
you'll try, for your whole life, to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you'll never find out why.
and no matter how badly you hate it, or how badly it hurts; you'll love this person without regret, for the rest of your life.

you are the first single soul,
to make me feel that way.

i liked you a lot less than you liked me in the beginning.
and i ended up loving you a lot more than you loved me in the end...

JPW

chocolate

you made my day :)

v.day seven

a. you're really cute
b. you're really good looking
c. you are really different
d. you've made a difference to my life
e. only you seem to be able to make me feel this way
f. i think i would be reaching for you
g. are we on par?
h. you have a really cute cheeky smile :)
i. you're quite the silly
j. i miss you
k. you smell nice
l. you're like .... gay now? (in the closet)
m. you have caused much heartache
n. i hate losing to you
o. i feel so inferior to you
p. you make me feel like i should be better, that i should change
q. smooth
r. tall
s. i don't trust myself with you
t. i'm sorry
u. i distance myself for a reason
v. i distanced myself out of fear
w. it amazes me how you make me smile so easily
x. you have quite cool clothes :o
y. maybe i shouldn't have let you go so easily
z. happy? yeah i was

Q.六

Day 6 - A Stranger

at one point in my life, you were but a stranger.

and now,

we share secrets, we laugh, we joke, we have fun.

we enjoy each other's company.

although we don't see each other as much anymore,

i still would like you to know that i do think of you,

and you'll always be my dear husband.

CH

wonder

wonder where this road will take me.
wonder where you come into this.
wonder if the effort will pay off.
wondering how much longer

~~~~~

there are things that i will never stop wondering about.
but that's only because i never put action into making them happen,
or put the effort in to try.
and now i can only keep wondering,
because time has moved on, and i no longer have the chance to make it happen..

v.day six

i don't like talking to strangers.
it takes a while for me to get used to new people.
i have a look, which people see as scary bitchy angry.
but i don't mind cos then i don't have to deal with people and small talk.

but i'm glad the strangers i met semester two two thousand and nine have become good friends :)
very good friends in fact! i love them muchly!
as well as those girls i met in the land of private girl schooling :) they will always remain dear to me :)

these strangers have turned into important people in my life i'm glad to have met them :)
without them i wouldn't know where i would be :)

lala land

i've been living in my own lala land without realising it.
fml :( another province has been formed.

Q.五

Day 5 - Your Dreams

my dreams have always come back to haunt me.

they say that your dreams are the wishes of the heart.

i sincerely hope that is not the case.

because if it was, my heart sure does wishes for fkd-up shit.

safe

it's hard sometimes, even if i wanted to call you, i wouldn't.
it isn't that i couldn't but i wouldn't.
i miss having you around and your company.
but things get too complicated and messy,
it's predictable, the consequences of our actions.
it's easy to be around you and just deal. a safe place.
i miss you. but like always, i have to stay away.
why? because i need to save myself and yourself the trouble.
i'm sorry.

v.day five

i've always wondered what it would be like as a celebrity. a singer perhaps.
the luxuries, the opportunities, the money, the food, the people you meet :)
to eat as much as i want, what i want, when i want and not gain a kilo! :)
to be the ceo of a company, being successful not only in career but also with family
a doctor, a lawyer some cool job like that :)
i'm sure there are more random dreams, but this is it so far...maybe i'll add more later...

a dream is a wish your heart makes

side note: Happy Father's Day :)

Q.四

Day 4 - Your Sibling(s)

siblings have never really been important to me.
i always preferred to live a single-child life.
when i was a little younger, i used to think to myself all the time "if they didn't exist..."
yeh, it was kind of mean. but it was expected.
they got all the things i never got.
and it was just all unfair.

but i grew up.
and i realised there are things that they will never get,
but i do, 'cause i'm the oldest. =)

you.
i like you better than the other one, but it doesn't mean all that much 'cause i don't like neither of you that much in the first place.
you like the things i like.
you hate the things i hate.
you follow me around.
you don't do anything on your own.

that's annoying.

grow up, i'm not going to be here for you forever.
or at least i don't intend to.

you.
you're a stuck up mfbitchface.
you need to get your fat head back down to earth and realise that you're actually not that great.
you are way too spoilt for your own good, and one day, it's going to gg you in the ass, stand on your face, and laugh at you until you bleed.
i dislike your attitude, i dislike your manner.
i dislike you.



i'm not a very caring sister,
i'm not a very nice sister either.
but that's the best your gonna get,
and your stuck with it for life.

v.day four

without you three, life would be boring. no one to play with. no one to annoy. life would be pretty damn lonely. know what you want. appreciate what you have. i may be distant, strict, rough, bossy etc. but at the end of the day you know that i'll always be there to protect you. you know what my flaws are, you know what to change and not become. the three of you can't always be hiding behind me anymore.

you need be more assertive. you need to know what you want. you can't be like me, unsure about everything. you need to be stronger against those who may pick on you. you can't always take things to heart. you have to let go and be your own person. 

you need to be more confident of yourself. you need to be more aware. even though i may not be the best example, but the way i am you should be like. you can't be weak you can't be influenced easily. you have to know what is right and what is wrong. even if you say you do know, your actions say otherwise. you need to stop your shifty eyes. grow up to be someone that isn't him. be happier!

you need to stop growing up so fast. you need to enjoy your childhood because once it's gone and you will look back you won't have anything significant about it to remember. sure travelling and going overseas is fun but what do you really have to reminisce on. you're a good girl. and sometimes i may neglect you, but at the end of the day you still are my baby :) you're going to grow up confident, you're going to grow up bold, you're going to be a stronger person i think than the siblings before you.

live your own lives. don't live a life with regrets. don't get into long term relationships until you are ready. stay single until you're sick of it. enjoy your teens, wait for your twenties. DON'T TAKE DRUGS! alcohol is okay tho :) don't give a shit about what your friends say or do. do things at your own pace. don't ever let anyone force you to do anything. find friends that will always be there for you through thick and thin like mine. your friends are the ones you will run to first, if not me. be careful who you trust, be careful what you say because it could come back and bite you in the ass. don't ever be the dumpee, be the fucking dumpER.
don't mix with dodgy viets or viets in general >=( you'll get stabbed at metros >=( luckily sago is taiwanese and helen is white :$
if you have something on your mind, say it. don't give a shit if people think you're a bitch, if you hear rumours about you, it will effect you there is no doubt about it, but always know the people who count will know the real you and will be able to distinguish the truth from the lies.

i think you three will know by now and learn from my mistakes, and you know what i want for each of you. if you know that a decision you make will make me rage, i think you know there are reasons why you shouldn't do it. stay safe. don't get lost into bad company.

DON'T EVER LOSE YOUR FRIENDS TO A RELATIONSHIP I WILL WHOOP YOUR ASSES
ONEITIS IS FUCKING AVE >=( YOU GET IT AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS >=(


much love :) xo

Q.三

Day 3 - Your Parents

hmm parents,
you have never really been supportive of me in anything that i do..
you always wanted to run my life your way,
and, i don't receive praises on anything i do correct,
but i never hear the end of the blames on the things i do wrong.

although you have seemingly loosened up in these couple of years since uni,
there are still things that you do which annoy me.

i do not hate the fact that you organise and plan everything for me,
but please do understand that sometimes, i have plans of my own too.
i wish to plan some of my own life.. it IS my life after all.

you've had your turn,
now it's mine.

V.10 Dating Commandments ;)

One. Keep it simple and fun don't over think it. Men are genetically dumb
Two. Never leave any clues. Don't get caught playing around, this way you won't have to choose.
Three. Come and go as you please. Don't get to close, you know its better to tease
Four. If you want something more, plant the seeds let him think he came up with it before
Five. Keep the sex alive, scream his name and fake it before he arrives
Six. You and parents don't mix. Before you know it they think they got a wedding to fix
Seven. Tell him over again. "There will be no giving, if theres no receiving"
Eight. No rooting on the first date. Tell him "He's your first, not the twenty-eighth"
Nine. Remeber this line "Baby, you're the best" works every time
Ten. Tell your secrets to friends. You need an alibi? Its on them you depend

-Am8erhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yhoBf2PE3Y

v.day three

two people that i wouldn't exist without. every family is different based upon the way your parents bring you up. our family would be a rare sight to see.

you take her for granted.
business is business. home is home. money is money.
don't bring work back to the house and expect us to be there when you call.
you've brought us up to be dependent on you and you wouldn't have it any other way.
weak.scared.indecisive.clueless
i wouldn't want to be you in the future.
materialism.
you can make me associate harsh words with you.
i am you and that scares me.
i am you and that scares you.
i am like him and you hate that.

even though the majority of the time we barely get along at the end of the day you are there for me.

when bad things happen, you always seem to be there at the right time saying words which make you realise we really are a family. we do have our fun times together. the more time apart we spend, the further the distance will be. but i think for us, that's the way we work.

v.day two

when it comes to crushes, crushing on people isn't hard. anyone that makes you feel special, anyone that you get attracted to physically or emotionally can instantly make you have butterflies in your stomach when you're around them.their presence just makes you happy, smile, nervous and shy. you can change when you're around them, because you want to be better and make them notice you, but in the end, what they really liked was the real you, not the you, you thought they would want.

i realise now that the difference between having a crush and really liking someone is that a crush isn't serious business, it's just plain surface feelings, nothing too deep. you know when you're having a crush, but as to knowing if you really like someone can be freaking confusing. because some people just don't know what they want :$

when i think about it, me crushing on you, like every other girl at uni was inevitable. spending that time together after classes etc made me crush on you even more, enough to pull me away from you because why would i want to dig myself into a hole i couldn't get out off? as if you would have ever been interested. in my mind, it was just a lost cause :( even though things have changed, it's sad how we barely even got to know each other really...to even become 'good friends'. even if i see you now i'm like :$ but what can i do if i have a little crush on you.

having crushes on people is only natural, crushes and liking people are all based on attraction.

do similar people really repel and opposites attract?