v.butter

so tonight we went butterfactory! gwen and tricia went clubbing for the first time. we got them to line up early since tricia was using my ID but since they were at the front and waiting for ages the bouncer just stamped them without checking :O jhansi and i were like waiting 1.5hrs to get in just cos of stupid VIP =@ should have just went to the normal line :( but butterfactory is alright...since it was ladies night it was sausage fest...it was extra crowded as well cos it was the last ladies night of the year apparently and everyone is on holidays =.= but yeah andrew t is pretty good aye :) should be fun to have him dj for one of our events! taxi is soo cheap here WIN! :)
i'm scared i'll come back with a singlish accent :(

anyways...new years eve is pretty much tmr! haven't got anything planned yet =\ but i think singapore will be too crowded for me to enjoy anything anyways =[ whee i get to go home on the 2nd of jan :) cannot wait to sleep in my comfy bed :):):) hehe can't wait to catch up with everyone in perth again :) but i gotta deal with my oneitis first :(

GIGGLE

giggle your way to perfection

;)

v.zouk fail

so tonight we attempted to get the juvie sisters into zouk which epically failed. jhansi and i got in but yeah div and tricia no go. freaking hell phuture maxed out within the hour we got there and mambo is so ... but i must say zouk has pretty alright looking boys as well as fucking hot cars ! the parking was full of lambos, bentleys, porsches, bmws, mercedes and mostly audis! audi cars are sooo hot ! i want :(
also i think i'm selling my car so if anyone wants to buy a peugeot 308 tell me :)

i think i'm going to try go butterfactory with nicole next week! she's back on monday so hopefully will  be able to get out :)i really really wanna come clubbing with the girls in singapore! butterfactory ladies night is free entry plus free flow till 1am! :) :) so hong kong is pretty much booked 6th jan yay! just waiting on flight back to perth! jackie and i are hopefully going to stay at cosmopolitan hotel :$ hopefully it wont be fail :)

2011 is next week and it is christmas eve tomorrow! kinda freaky that 2010 has passed by so fast...2010 was it ave year? ha ha ha...
now today my mother asked what i wanted for christmas! i guess for xmas i got the hong kong trip so i'm pretty satisfied :) wonder what is on everyone else's wish list =\

v.pizza

i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want pizza :(
cheesy pizza too! but my dad just looks at me like a retard for eating pizza when you're in asia -.-
but i've been craving it for the past week :( hehe jackie is craving it too =x
if only we were in perth together we'd have a cheesy pizza party right now!

so now i'm in singapore yay! totally love the new apartment although it's noisy cos of the road outside being a busy one =.= it's like 1am and the city is STILL not asleep! perth really is a dead pos =.=
but food is yummy as always =) had roti, carrot cake, famous amos cookies and chilli crab yummy! i still want pizza! pizza in singapore is freaking yummy its soo fresh and not like dominos perth ...

tmr i'm going orchard :) finally get to start shopping yay! hopefully forever 21 has some stuff ! oh oh oh and on wednesday i'm going to butterfactory for the first time :o i saw the pictures of the place online it looks pretty good :) ladies night yay! free entry yay! free flow yay!
i'm going to dye my hair again. possibly tmr or the day after :) yay!

i'm hungry!

v.phat

so tomorrow night i leave bangkok for dear old singapore! should be fun to go down orchard road and look for clothes :) and seeing the apartment for the first time! i wanna buy heels from aldo!!

i felt so fat today :( gna like cut down on eating so much...melt me chocolate fudge is sooo good =x but i don't really know what's that great about krispy kremes.i have never seen so many people line up for krispy kremes so many days in a row. the lines start around 9am in the morning and doesn't really die down till late at night =\ AND they each buy like 24 donuts each D: freaking crazy!
i've been eating so much unhealthy crap i'm breaking out :( when i get back to perth bikrum with jess and lots of water and healthy food :)

today's bridget's birthday as well. nine years old this year meaning ten for her and twenty for me next year :(
next year is coming pretty soon :) pretty exciting! so much to look forward too and organise :)
i think i'm going to plan hongkong from the 5th or 6th of jan till the 10 or 11th of jan so that we are back in perth for jackie's birthday to spend with dear jessica :) two decades we've pretty much lived already...you start to wonder how much you've accomplished and whether that has really been enough and what was expected of your life so far =\ oh wells...another decade ends as a new one begins with new things to look forward too and experience!

perfection

so lately our perfection has entered our lives but things don't seem to be going to plan =\

i guess even if they are our perfection it doesn't mean we are theirs. all we can do is try and change to be their perfection and hopefully they will be ours :) 

whether it be shedding a few more kilos, changing our hairstyle, wearing things differently, changing the way we walk and talk just for them...is it being fake? or is it really just bettering ourselves?

whatever it is, perfection for each of us seems to really exist and whatever your goals are my dear i'm sure you'll be able to achieve since he's a want and need you cannot live without :x  you've been able to have a taste and there's nothing wrong with wanting more :$ *giggle* 

--

leaving early tomorrow morning for bangkok and singapore hopefully to hong kong for a few days too :) it'd be interesting to party it up with the asia crowd they seem like a pretty lively bunch haha. sago is still deciding between taiwan and summerdayze i think =\ i want to buy new heels and dresses...wldn't mind boots too but it's not winter in bangkok or singapore...like ever -.- wlda been fun to count down for new years together with the girls but i guess there is always next year :) 

v.leaving

really soon :(

v.fling

so results came out tonight! passed all units yay!
now i just got to figure out what units i can do in which order so i won't be so loner :x
next year should be interesting...club stuff, uni stuff and fling stuff ;)
summer flings seem to be the in the at the moment with the girls...something quite different and interesting to experience haha :) i wonder where it'll take us ;)
i hope things do work out for the best tho =\

i leave in a few days i don't really know how i'm going to survive a holiday with my family...i haven't been overseas with them in a while let alone been with them 24/7 with no escape...i might die aye =\
oh wells..i guess i do need a break from perth and cs. i'm going to get so many greys from cs :(

Q.Ready

perhaps it's not meant to be,
perhaps it's not meant to be now,

maybe the time's just not right yet,
or maybe i'll just sit around and wait for the moment to come..

but hey,
what's the fun in that?

Q.巧

& there you were,
standing amongst the crowd,
and my heart kind of went
"oh look, that's him."

unbelievable


6hours
i can't wait...

Q.爆

if i don't stop thinking soon,
my head is going to explode.

no seriously.

=]

Q.傻笑

望着天, 傻傻地笑
对着人, 傻傻地笑
走着路, 傻傻地笑
开着车, 傻傻地笑
聊着天, 傻傻地笑
因为我在想着你, 傻傻地笑..
<3

v.over

totally over it. you can forget about it.
it's all fake anyways so why should i even bother?
you've already lost one friend another shouldn't hurt right?
if you think you've made the effort you're more fucked in the head than we think.
she hurts you know and you don't even know or realise.
you have your names with people which you don't even cherish thinking that it'll be okay if you ignore them.
i could add more bitchy things but hey, since it's your birthday i'll give it a pass.

v.chemistry

it's pretty cool how attraction and chemistry works...pretty interesting stuff
unfortunately it can backfire and be your worse nightmare where because of the way things are there is no way in hell anything is going to happen...but for you :) nothing is there to blemish your perfect chance! cannot wait to see the results :):) the timing couldn't be more perfect :) it's up to you with what you want to do i guess you aren't going to deny it aye :) horny =x

so 2010 event calendar finally ended! now theres nothing really left to do...things have been planned but i guess it is just time for some research or maybe a break is really in order. jackie says i'm so sad =[ cos now i really don't even have a life!

thank you so much joshy for picking me up and sending me home! love you! xx

so like right now...you really are starting to piss me off. my patience has a very low tolerance at the moment so i wouldn't try anything.

what do you want for your birthday?

v.boredom

i'm really bored at the moment. slept around 3...woke up around 8 and i think i'm still effected by the red bull! :( so now i have nothing to do cos there are no shows to watch !
i really did have SO much fun at dynasty! owned any other metro night =$ topped any good night i've had so far :)

so proud of the girls and boys who did the dance :) who knew jasmine was soo creative :) haha dj moto was reallly good! annie was so drunk :O ABC totally trying to hook in ;) oh that girl is such a tease =x now that she's single no boy is safe =$ lol at jackie passing out on sago's bed...white boys with ginger hair are not worth anyone's tears >=(

i think i'm going to go watch pokemon...no one is awake everyone's sleeping...but hey people should be awake if meng is able to wake up for work!

now whether to go out tonight or not to =\

i felt so epically fat yesterday :(
it makes me so :(

v.dynasty

Dynasty was sooo good! Although the dance had a false start everything else was sooo fun! Vanessa drank and drove for the first time! Annie lost her voice! Jackie got upset! Jess saw sooo many exs! poor girl :(

I would say it was a success! for those that didn't come you epically missed out! TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN WILL BE SUCH AN EXCITING YEAR :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® from Optus

v.short

so my dresses are really short.

it's like no shit sherlock

:(

and like my skirts... =[ 

I AM SO EPIC YAY FOR YOU :)

BE HAPPY CHAPPY MY DEAR =]

we need an idea!

infrared cameras are so . . . i think i got caught the other on my way to curtin :(

my phone is fucked.

it doesn't ring and there's no missed call icon but the messages get sent :(

and now all it says is call fail :(

v.Just because

It's funny how even she can bring up some valid points that makes you question things...

Friends are supposed to be supportive, there for you when you're sad, there for you when you wanna have fun, if you don't want to go through things alone friends just tag along for support, if you need a plus one as a wingman friends just hop in when necessary! Friends do things even if they don't really want to just because you're their friend. if you're doing something big and exciting shouldn't they try and support you in all ways that they can? I mean its not like I'm going to go and push you and beg you and its not that I'm desperate either. Its just a thought that "just because" it'd be a friend thing to do.
Sent from my BlackBerry® from Optus

v.move

my sisters seem to be moving into my room -.-
they seem to be sleeping over more and more these few days =[
my dads like why don't you all move in the same room together!

freaking ... is pissing me off =@ so freaking stupid. mixing her words, complaining about the change, trying to hold on to what has already been passed on =@
you've already had your turn and right now you aren't really doing anything for the benefit of the club. you are freaking trying to do it for yourself, your career and reputation. go and die in a hole stupid pos.

i need more shows to watch :( vampire diaries doesn't continue till dec and even then it's only got two episodes left :( hrmm i need something to keep me occupied =\ CS stuff only goes so far =\

v.boredom

so last night went back to metros since jackie wanted to go out for a bit. was about to bail when she called me and told me she was outside =[
ms helen le didn't even make an appearance ! but she didn't miss out on much anyways lucky her i would have rather stayed home! music was ave until the end end. like a g6 is a really good song but it's wayy too slow to be a really good clubbing song =\  sooo many people is ave...especially in summer...
i think the highlight of my night was laughing at jason each time sam tran tried to get with him. man he so fail! didn't even like say good bye to her properly he just ran far far away!
ah my dear sam tran really is quite the loose miss =\ the rumours are true =x
man there were so many actual sluts last night o.O was so like :O i mean people call me a slut/skank but pfft i'm nothing compared to them! PURITY O=) i wonder if i should name them...maybe i won't..cos last night i was being even more bitchy than usual =x haha oh wells...meh..it was boring last night so that killed time. short little girls should not push big girls like moi and stand on some people's feet i.e. jackie's otherwise they are in for it big time =@ dotdotdot
orange didn't hook in D: i was so bored i kept trying to push people together but that failed!
there were these gay boys that were near us at the end and sago turned straight for a bit so he wldnt go near him hahahaha and one of them was interested in jong xin apparently ;)
andy was there last night =) =) he seems too upper class to be on the dancefloor in metro city =\ he belongs in places like minQ bar =x lol and apparently tim got oneitis last night =$ wonder who the lucky girl was ;)

end of saturday night and sunday morning

LET'S GO YUM CHA TMR =D !!!!!

v.brave

after all that has happened you blame no one, you just sit through the pain with a smile on your face :)  i don't know how you are so brave and grown up at your age...it's pretty damn amazing !
you make me smile because you're so strong whilst making me sad watching you endure what has happened to you. for your sake and theirs, i really hope that there are no scars to burden you, i don't know how she would be able to handle seeing your face everyday with a scar reminding her everyday of what happened as well as them.
my dear little bubble be as happy as you can be and live your precious life to the fullest :) holding your small little hand everyday makes my day just that much better =]

i love you!



and as for you, i'm glad you came out fine with no complications and hopefully are sleeping well :) let's hope nothing else comes back to surprise us :)

v.decisions

some rules are broken "just for fun"...like hrmm sneaking out of your house to go metros on saturday nights.
but some rules are just not meant to be trifled with at all. some things are just meant to be respected and left alone and if you actually break the rule that isn't meant to be broken, you lose a whole lot of respect and gain a whole lot of disgust and disappointment in you and your decision. but i guess as most say things happen for a reason.

--

so lately i've become a tv-addict. i guess my boredom has really surfaced and i just watch charmed and pokemon all day which i guess i don't mind. pokemon is really fun to watch :) pikachu is SOOOO CUTE! totally want one! oh and vulpix :) magikarp is the worst piece of crap ever freaking fish. ugh so fucking annoying to watch it  =@ magi karp karp karp karp...
charmed is getting boring-ish...it was only good when cole was around :) bad boys are sooo hot =$
leo is a fatty now and darryl is a fatty too. no goodalooking guys :( nick lachey is right now phoebes love interest =) =) AND WYATT AND CHRIS ARE WAYY TOO CUTE! *sigh  makes me smile :):)

well anyways time for sleepies. early early morning wake up tmr :) hope things go well for both of you =) i hope you heal with no scars to haunt you in the future and i hope it isn't a serious case and you'll be up and running in no time with no future hassles

don't take shit from nobody

leilockheart =]

Q.真的

真的

我努力的仰着脸孔
试着让眼泪不往下流 别往下流
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同 很不相同

想要说 却还沉默
伸出手 无法触碰

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活

闭上眼 让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界 自由的走

v.last

so tmr will be my last exam which i will totally flunk. i don't even think super duper stoopid alan kan will be able to help me :( mechanical dynamics you make me so so so sad :(
zac and jeremiah wna drink tmrs =\ since we don't like beer zac and i are going to drink water and zac feels a tad naughty so he wants some lemon too :) sparkling water is soo gross ! bottled - still water ftw !!
zac says he assumed i liked sparkling cos i'm all posh and what not drinking tea with my pinky up in the air
and thuy today was like i thought you had a boyfriend! i was like no i'm single =) and she's like you look like those people with boyfriends -.- *sigh
and she said i looked gangster :( :( :( :(

after tmr...exams will be the least of my problems....there's so much to do and deal with =\ i gotta deal with dynasty stuff and 2011 stuff and family stuff and friend stuff sighs.
ooo on a happy note dear thuy has helped me finish off selling my tickets =] she's way too pro. my $15 batch one is officially sold out and my other $20 ones yay! thank you thuy <3
thank you stupid alan kan for helping me in cfp and mech =) epic love! cannot wait till next year =$ i'm considering deferring my finance units for you =$
end of second year is tomorrow kinda scary thinking about being a third year =o tricia's going to be a fresher as well =\ wonder what will happen...mother says she'll end up not seeing both us at all next year haah guess we'll see =) april two thousand and eleven marks the cutting down of metros hopefully =]
i shall try and not procrastinate any longer...mechanical dynamics you are going to make me cry tomorrow!

reality strikes.

leilockheart

v.stoopid

things can only get better. you've gotten past this  point before and i'm sure you can pass it once again. for now, all you can do is cry it all out and get it out of your system where you have no more tears to shed and you become tired of wasting your sadness tears and everything on him. the rest of us can only be a shoulder for you to cry on. no matter what we say it won't make the hurt go away, no matter what we do that person will still be on the back of your mind. so all that is needed is either a rebound =x for distraction or to live with it till time heals the wound. you've had a slip up and even though you thought you could handle it you couldn't. saying i told you so isn't really going to change anything so hopefully this is just another mistake you learn from. i know his attention and presence makes you happy but that happiness won't last and i think you know that now. you have said you're stupid which i do believe you are at times but when it comes to your heart and your love nothing can stop you.

just breathe. it'll hurt. but you can only get stronger from this.

v.fefe dobson

so i found a new song that i really love

stuttering - fefe dobson


it was the music act for the latest episode of hellcats.
i don't know why i love the song so much =\ i mean the lyrics don't really apply to me but i guess i like the melody and instrumental =] but yeah i love it muchly :) jackie and jess love it muchly too
jackie's favourite line "there's a whole lot of things that i will forgive but i just can't take a liar"

it's you and me against the world

that's what you said

if you can't be honest with me 

i'm afraid this is the end

hurry up hurry up

if you ever really cared about me

tell the truth, give it up

you sound guilt cos you're stuttering

;)

just maybe

shallow-ness

v.prepare

so today i went to church for the first time in ages...kind of '...' how they were coincidentally talking about death...
pretty much the Priest was talking about how prepared we would be when death comes our way...
even if you always prepare for every exam, every work meeting, every single thing in your day, how prepared will you be when it's your final few minutes? things happen unexpectedly and for most situations you should just really be thankful that for you it wasn't so severe as it could be.
so how do we prepare ourselves for death?  for those with money and assets are you supposed to keep your will in check every week? for those with close family and friends are you supposed to ring them up every day to tell them 'I love you'?

i hope death goes away at this point. far far away...
i doubt it will be that serious and you'll come out fine. i guess this is just really going to be an eye-opener to the life you live at the moment. right now you're running back to your faith for support i guess it's just a peace of mind kind of thing something to give you hope to look out for those you love and yourself. even today's event shows you that you can't take things for granted. every action and move you make you must make with caution and 'use your brains', be aware of your surroundings and be aware of the risks. after this experience you'll change the way you live especially your outlook on life.i think you're going to be at home more often and more strict keeping those you love by your side just so you know that they aren't some place where something bad could happen to them.  after these few events i kind of wonder how i'm going to act from now on...i guess i'm going to be the same...cos what is the point in changing? but i think i'm going to be more cautious and possibly hermit this coming holidays. the outside world is dangerous =x as mother says...just stay at home!

this will definitely scar you and possibly give you a phobia. i don't know why this happened to you but i know you'll be fine. just be as strong as we know you are. today you really showed the grown up side of you even though you are still a kid, it's crazy to think you are still only so young and have matured so fast. i know it can be lonely at times for you but in the end you still are our baby. the pain in their faces today stunned me... to see your child in such pain and to see your child's body in such a state is the most heart breaking thing a parent and sibling could go through. just stay safe and a whitelighter will heal you in no time :)

state of the gorgon's castle :(

everything will get better in the end, i do believe that. this is just a bump in the road

v. twenty six poses

so...recently i've started bikrum yoga!

the first time almost died. i gave up half way and waited for the floor poses with jess. teressa was sooooo good! she got through the whole thing!
the second time wasn't too bad :) much better! time flew by pretty fast and i got through the WHOLE thing ! YAY! jess went twice that day and brought jackie. haha jackie hated it soooo much =\ so i think she's going to stick to shemoves ;)
and the third time was going to be at eight am but it was full :( so instead we went breakkies :)
but yeah going to go at four pm today with my mother and sister :) i think mother and sister are going to die.

bikrum is actually pretty fun. the amount you sweat is so ewww but it's worth it !
should have a bikurm yoga date with everyone :$

on other notes...

miniature pug x beagle 

i have one more exam left on tuesday then i am done! but i think i might flunk this one :( dynamics isn't exactly the easiest subject >.< and i don't have stupid alan kan nearby =[
after exams, it is allllllll dynasty and paper work for 2011.
from the video that cat posted, dj moto sounds pretty good =) kinda exciting!

and...i don't think i'm going overseas anymore to USA/Europe. at this stage, the trip has pretty much been cancelled. so much money lost :( but oh wells as long as he gets better that's all that matters right? :) so christmas in perth ! orrr...might go singapore for a bit! i want to dye my hair!!!!!!!
i'm supposed to be starting to go church every weekend from now on . . . i haven't been in sooo long =\
anddd... yay might be getting a dog or two :):) i want a miniture pugg hehe they're sooo cute! but papa wants a retriever =\ they're so big =[



and lastly...


happy birthday jono !

you or me?

timing.

just friends

possession.

fairytale

someday my prince will come...

yeah don't think so Snow White.

apples ;)

dear diary

it does shit all.

for you II

gossip

ice

faking a smile is a lot easier than explaining what's wrong

freeze!

for you

http://butthetruthis.tumblr.com/post/1394255433/he-says-to-the-ex-girlfriend-do-you-want-to-hang

Q...

you're stupid






eos

v.line up

it will only be a matter of time before the chaos begins again...
same old cycle.
same old drama. 
same old stupidity.


get your tickets now!








---
sixteenth of november :)

v.FINALLY

YAY!!!! it finally happened!! TOTALLY MADE MY DAY:)

i can study now :)

JEN IS SINGING OUT LOUD IN A LIBRARY =.=

DRUNK BITCH

epic fail

study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study 


i epic fail in studying :(
just too addicted to the power of three :(

v.restart

it's a new month. all good things come to an end and even if you love him, you know and i know you deserve better. you have been going around in circles for a while now and sooner or later you have to make the best decision for yourself. he's not going to realise and he's not going to change. he has his priorities set and it's apparent you high on that list. there is no point in putting yourself through this over and over again!
everyone else can see who is and who isn't a priority to him, you may be important, but not as important as another. it's hard for friends to see you go through this time and time again as we can only really stand by and watch because the decision is yours. we're always here keeping an eye out for you ready to catch you when you fall any time any day :)


---


EXAMS ARE A POS
I HATE UNI
i'd like to say i'll change next semester but really my focus on uni work will die even more
major sigh.

trick or treat

where every action can be interpreted in more than one way,
i begin to wonder in what way you assumed when you did ...

where everything said can be understood differently,
i never stop wondering what it meant when you said ...

so tell me...

could this be a treat,
or is this another one of your tricks?

v.oops

uh oh spaghettios :x

v.halloween

ahh happy halloween ;)

http://hollywoodoverdose.tumblr.com/post/1437002710/fuck-yes-its-halloween

v.truce

i just finished watching easy j episode six of gossip girl !
chuck and blair called a truce but didn't get back together :(
i hope they do! the show is really only interesting because of those two :)

i wonder who would be seen as the equivalent to chuck and blair

wonder who i would call a truce with as well =\ hmm..

guitar

i have to say guitar really is the best instrument a guy could ever play :)

extra points if you can play guitar and sing!

helen le you lucky thing!

jealousy much!! :$

happy birthday dear :)

xo

v.helen le :)

my dearest helen,

happy birthday ! it's barely been a year and in such a short time we've become so close! :)

i love you for being there for me in anger, tears and smiles :) 

you are one of the few to have seen a tear shed from my eyes :x

i love you for the way you can make me smile and have such good times and memories :) e.g. last weekend =$

i love you for being you! don't ever change. you are helen for a reason and no one can ever replace you.

i love you for being my b2/s2 cos we're cool like that =$ we've learnt a lot this past year don't you think? :)

i love that i've come to know such a caring and loving person who makes such a huge effort to make me cupcakes on my birthday as well as drag me out on my birthday weekend to celebrate =$ love you!!

i'll be there for you through thick and thin:) come rain or shine :)

come asian barbie or being super skanktastic ;)

i love you dearly and wish you the best year ahead!

it's nineteen baby! our last year before the 20s =x

shall we live it up ? :) 

happy birthday once again have a fantastic birthday! don't worry about becoming an oompa loompa ! you'll still be as skanktastic as ever =$

<3 

ness

skank1.b1

xoxo

i'll be there for you,

when the rain starts to pour,

i'll be there for you

like i've been there before

i'll be there for you

cos you're there for me too

runaway baby!

I love you so 
That's what you'll say 
You'll tell me 
Baby baby please don't go away 
But when I play, I never stay


To every girl that I meet here this is what I say: 
Run run run away, run away baby 
Before I put my spell on you 
You better get get get away get away darling 
'Cause everything you heard is true 
Your poor little heart will end up alone 
'Cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone 
So you better run run run away run away baby 

v.average

i believe it's only going to get worse.
you are going to be on my mind even more so than before.
my life will revolve around you.
i think i could possibly get oneitis with you :(
my judgement will be clouded.
my jealousy will get out of hand.
my thoughts will be all over the place
will i be able to handle failure? unlikely.
so what happens if i fail with you :(

v.structure

i'm pretty happy with the exec team for next year :)
but first structure has to be established!
hopefully that will be done tomorrow !
january 2011 is going to be major busy :x
how exciting =)

O-Day's 2011

24th FEB - CURTIN

25th FEB - UWA

things are all fun and games, until someone gets hurt

v.power couple

how long will you be able to keep personal and business separated?
is it a wise move?
i guess we shall see.
maybe it'll run as smoothly as your relationship.
such a long term thing like this could be risky
but i wish you all the best!
good luck and congratulations my dear! 
i'm proud of you :)
of course it was expected but still ;)


it'll be an interesting year to come....




next up: asia and cs

v.lame

how lame is it that it only takes a second to respark everything
HAH what balance.

stupid is what it is.
change was inevitable for both parties.

--

i gotta find fluro stuff eh =\

motivation is what i need to find

v.mistake

no matter how hard we try, we're not always going to get it right.

we feel certain things for certain reasons

some things that we have to overcome some way or another,

it's okay to be in the wrong once in a while,

as long as you realise what you've done

and you do something about it to make it right, 

it's going to be a-okay! :)

no matter what you do, 

you know who is still going to be around

to chat to, to cry to, to whinge to :)

you'll be fine, it's only a phase my dear

just learn from your mistakes 

don't be sad, the pain will fade

things will get better as time goes on

if you want it, stay away from those who are going to trigger your urges =x




you're an idiot. you should know your influence.
don't take advantage of it. leave them be.
they've healed or are in the process of healing
you have someone, who you obviously don't give a shit about.
ass

v.worse

i'm getting worse.

grenade

easy come easy go
that's just how you live,
take, take, take it all
but you never give.

to give me all of your love is all i ever asked.
cause what you don't understand is..
i'd catch a grenade for you,
throw my hand on a blade for you,
i'd jump in front of a train for you.
you know i'd do anything for you,
i would go through all this pain,
take a bullet straight through my brain,
yes.
i would die for you.
but you won't do the same

bruno mars =]

v.yay you?

yay you, you've tamed him
yay you, you have control
yay you, you've finally sorted out your priorities
yay you, you don't have drama
yay you, you're over it?
yay you, are you starting to open your heart?
yay you, you have oneitis.

yay me, vampire diaries is out soon :$

FUCK YOU NEW MSN >=( I HATE YOU!

--

exams are coming up :( 

no idea where to start studying!

--
Spot the difference.

v.window

nothing you can do but watch
it hurts that you can only be so helpless
only being able to stare from the outside,
you have no control but to just think of what-ifs

i'm left speechless, clueless, confused as to what i'm doing is wrong. what am i supposed to do? 

how do you think it makes me feel? regardless, i still care.

--
i don't like how you are trying to control me
my lips are really dry :( i think its cos i've been overdosing with the soy sauce when i eat my sushi and stuff :(
well last night was a saturday, helen came over and we were going to have moscato and cheese and crackers with bring it on movies!
but what happened? these silly two teens got influenced into going to nonetheless but metro city! george came out! he was soooooo drunk! haha heard he yacked =\ hopefully he's okay!
we wanted to go home early :( but we stayed
jackie's car broke down and bran hit jackie's car with sago's?
orange was so drunk he even died in gross dirty metro city toilets to sleep =.=
and of course, the highlight of the night...no comment.
today was unproductive

mother's back tomorrow. brother's back tomorrow =)
going to bring mother to POPPOS! must remember to bring msu card

omg rugby is such a rough sport! derek is never playing it >=(
will go smash the boys that break him >=(
mmm..thats all from me for now

spoon-fed

it's hard to know what to do if you've only ever been spoon fed for that certain experience,
you're left clueless about what to do and how to start,
and because it becomes hard, you are confused and dumbstruck as how to fix the problem that occurs
and then...the only word that seems to pop up in your head regularly once you hit something is...
end.

v.different

we're different because we are meant to be,
the way we act and respond isn't on purpose
it is only natural for us
we're cool like that :)
and no one can take that away from us
we may seem to have the world,
but for some things you've probably had it better than us,
because we are us, we've probably missed out on a lot,
however we have gained in other aspects
hard yet easy, you wonder what lies ahead....


it's crazy how instantly you can change your mind
once someone else from the outside tells you their opinion
it's great isn't it? to have people from different groups as your friends :)
it opens your eyes, your mind and heart
and clears the fog when your vision gets blurred

--
i'm getting sick :(
i'm going to eat poppos tomorrow with my sisters :)

v.karaoke

just got home from karaoke!
what a long day :(
i woke up early and made breakfast for bridget :) well recess =x

karaoke compared to last year was a hit!
however, there were too many contestants in the first round!
the winner of the competition was Gabriel Chan!
Jackie liked him muchly!
jess kissed me =x
jackie kissed jess's boob
sago lay

19 => top 5 + 2 => top 3

i was running around like a maniac :( and i told so many people off :(
such a bitch :( some people are going to think i'm some crazy control freak and run off :(
people are going to stab me cos some of them were viet :(

2140 is due tmr.
thank god for ernst <3

i got my presents today :)
a jar of hearts from sago
and shoes from meng
does meng know what asians say when it comes to shoes as presents :O
i'm sure jackie will enlighten him bahahaha

i'm so tired!
i think my sisters ate my roast vegetables which i specifically ta pau-ed from the biz school cafe to bring home and eat later :(
it's cold :( it's spose to be really nice weather :(
i'm sick :( *sigh

time to finish off 2140 and go sleep!
xo

start!

from tomorrow,

no junk food
chocolates
sweets
fast food - i.e. maccas, hjs, kfc

if i get hungry, going to drink water!

try and have 3 proper meals :)
roast vegetable foccacia ftw !!
edens :)

fresh and healthy :):)

change is great :)
when you know it's for the best :)

v.cut down

on eating so much :(
i'm going to grow sideways :(

on being so slack
exams are just around the corner and barely know anything!
gotta start focusing and figuring out a study plan

on sleeping so much
my body clock is so stupid
i sleep soooo much that i'm so tired all the time and can sleep anytime
even if i sleep early, like 9/10/11pm i still snooze for like 2 hours :(
bad bad bad

on being so unhealthy
i gotta start exercising! and drinking more water and less alcohol, my skin is dying =[

so much to change :(
easier said than done, one step at a time i guess...

swing

you want to be the best, to reach the furthest, 

making sure to hold on tight never wanting to let go,

looking side to side at your competition

because once something comes along and distracts you

you start to buckle 

your focus, your strength starts to subside,

and you end up falling smack bam on the floor

what's left. nothing but pain.

you kind of wonder what hit you,

what made you lose focus,

what was so influential to affect you

maybe it was fear 

maybe it was intrigue

who will be there running to your rescue

back

things seem to always like to repeat itself,

it's back to the same old story 

where the same old decisions are made once again

in order to keep that normality for yourself and others

why does it keep coming back though?

the same old topics,

the same old assumptions, 

the same old questions

is it because we're supposed to do something different?

to make a different choice for another pathway in life.

since it always seems to come up again, 

does it mean that the first choice we made

or the usual choice we make is wrong?  

confusing eh.

sleep

the best way to escape

v.hearsay

if you want to know things, just ask the person. if you are meant to know, then you are.
if you aren't then so be it. i'm sure you will find out sooner or later.
do i look like someone that will cave first? especially when it comes to emotions?
people don't get called ice queen for nothing. people aren't told they don't have a heart for no reason.
emotions are a sign of weakness. if you know me, you know the way i am. if you don't, there is nothing i can do.


if i like you, you wouldn't ever get it out from me until you said i like you first. 








you cause so much trouble for me. it's not even funny anymore.
if i have to stay away from you to keep things a bit more stable and normal. i will.

v.nineteen

Birthday Week :)


7th
7.30am - breakfast with angel :) got my lovely birthday present of us from high school and fresher year! yay explorus =x
11.30am  - dimsum with sago and meng then + annie angel and jackie. sago, meng and i ate quite a bit eh =\
4.00pm - tav :) thank you for coming :) jackie brought cake and tarts :$ helen brought cupcakes and a pressie ! epic love to those two :)
6.00pm - spring feast
8.30pm - chocolate pizza @ the basement! thank you orange :)
10.00pm - home sweet home


so it was my birthday the other day

first time i woke up so early in ages D:
but it was worth it :)
thank you to everyone that came :)
i really wonder what happens in your last teenage year aye =\
high school is over. being a teen is over. the twenties are just around the corner. scary much?

went out last night :) had such fun with helen and jackie :) jen fails when it comes to alcohol! she succumbs to it so easily haha!i was soooo hungry :) thank god for billy lees! but it would have been wayyy better if andy and i got our bacon deluxes!

V.Eighteen

Its my last few hours as an eighteen year old. Looking back I have had such a great year. I've met so many people and made so many new friends :) helen, josh, wfc etc. :)

it was this wednesday last year I turned eighteen! And it was pretty memorable! Pretty much the first time I met most of the WFC boys who have now become my very good friends :) we went to the tav! I remember bran getting wasted and yackking on james oval as we watched ASIA train for rugby! then we went to annie's for dinner :)

uni life was new, miss high school life still ! the girls are still around :) so things are pretty much the same. just with more people. more freedom ish. i think though, that things with parents have gotten worse =\
i've gotten heaps rebel :( who sneaks out on saturday nights :x

there have been a lot of ups and downs but it has been a good year :)

nineteen is coming up! my last teen year, i wonder what it will bring...

v.realise

lying in bed, thinking about it for an hour,

wondering why i get affected so easily now

i think what i need is closure.

i realise i have too many what ifs floating in my head,

and i get lost and lose myself in these thoughts

they probably will never become a reality

which makes me pretty sad,

the possibilities make me think so much

that i can't handle it anymore.

it hurts too much to think what if,

that because of the way i am,

things never will ever turn out right

and because i can't change myself

all that is left will be emptiness and loneliness

stupid

it's stupid to think how you affect me,

even though nothing happened, nothing came out of it,

when it concerns you, i just seem to care for no reason at all.

we barely even talk and are barely even friends,

we were but we're not now just mere acquaintances.

yet still, your name is heard constantly,

and what happens in your life, 

can change my mood instantly.

how stupidly does my brain work and think.

what affects me, shouldn't.

it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

i want to change and adjust,

i want to let go of things easily

but, it never seems to happen.

maybe it is because nothing came out of it,

would that be the reason why it's still lodged in my brain?

i don't understand why i am like this,

it seems so easy for others to let go and move on,

sadly, that doesn't seem to work for me.

i try to leave but my brain just keeps these stupid thoughts,

never ceasing to forget, never seeming to be free

leap

courage, to handle the consequences
faith, that you will figure it out no matter the outcome
hope, that it happened for a reason
knowledge, that you are never alone
do you have what it takes to leap?

him.

his name is daniel phan.

also known as sago.

and we love him :)

we miss him dearly too!

v.focus

i need to find a goal,
to find motivation,
that will make me focus
on something other than what is going on now

v.tired

tired of being asked the same question,

because i don't know the answer.

my eyes are sore

you have what you need

now just know what you want

accomplish

in my life, i've always listened to my parents.
been obedient when it came to decisions,
sure they've let me do a couple of things by choice,
but really, i don't think i know any other way,
i think i don't know what i want,
because i've always known what i wanted because it was my parent's wants
so now i'm lost.
i haven't accomplished anything.
and it makes me sad. and i don't think anyone can make me better.

alcohol is bad for the skin

end of story.
detox soon (hopefully)

v.fragile

i think i'm in a fragile state of mind at the moment,

anything you say or do may effect me more so now than it ever would have before,

it's a period that i will have to get over sooner or later,

what is said, what is done, you may not realise but it does effect me,

it's not something i'm going to make a big deal of as i'll deal with it as always

msu ball 2010

table 23 + gan and shaw :)

very nicely done :)
had a table full of boys. how like me :x
drank at ernst's before hand and at the ball
i paced myself pretty well
got drunk =\
i think i embarrassed myself in front of some people :(
how depressing :(
popped my emo-drunk cherry
sorry sago :( and annie :(
what a pain i must be :(

it was really fun tho,
jono is a slut :x
but I stopped it and got told off by the other boys for interfering :(

next year should be even better :)
msu dance was really good! way better than asia's i must say. hehe annie danced really well =$
claps to msu :) yay!
msu gonna pwn asia 2011 ;)

v.broken

you can still see the cracks,

the lines telling you where it hurts, 

and even if you try your best,
to let it heal over time,

it will never be the way it was
the scars are still there

october

you are here :)

Q.三十

Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror.

You need to change.
ugh.

v.thirty

complicated. imperfect. broken.

Q.二十九

Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to.

you say that you understand what i'm going through,
but do you really?

if i told you everything that i went through,
everything that happened to me,
every thought that i've had in my head,
would you look at me differently?

you're really special to me.
we have a strong but not needy bond.
i never want that to change.

so i'm just going to keep everything a secret from you.

JW